The Soul of this Writer just doesn’t give a Damn during the month of November.

The primary function of quotation marks is to set off and represent exact language (either spoken or written) that has come from somebody else. The quotation mark is also used to designate speech acts in fiction and sometimes poetry.

In some styles, such as the MLA style, some longer quotations that span multiple lines shouldn’t use quotation marks. Instead, the quote should start on a new line and be indented.

Another use of quotation marks are scare quotes which are used to mean “so-called”, or to express irony.

-The Purdue OWL

Once a year I gain a year, gain an hour, and lose my shit every time people ask me if I the writer will participate in the annual November writing thing. Some letters that mean absolutely nothing to me and while I get that people need a reminder to write or in this case write with an absurd goal of word count X in time frame X I do enjoy watching those who enjoy the challenge taking up the mantle of writer…for a month.

This writer goes on hibernation during the month of November. No clue why. Happened even before the event became a thing, yet another reason why social media is losing its luster-bang out 140 characters, copy a meme, take a photo of your food (most of the time food you did nothing more than order), or post a status update for all of your followers who have nothing better to do than follow your every move, essentially vicariously living your life-and suddenly you to (two) ((too)) are a writer in the same way that anyone can open their fist hole and spew out words in an volume over conversational and in a cadence that matches something akin to music of two cats fucking and you two (too) ((TUE)) are a singer.

And all the while the world continues to burn. Ah well there will always be one last cat meme.

You might think that I am in a bad mood, no more than usual. Just tired of the now annual, “but you are a writer, why don’t you write 30,000 in a month,” bullshit. Why? Because I am a writer and I know how I writer. This writer, bangs out material for 10 months a year and for TUE (to) ((too)) takes a break. A break that has nothing to do with writers block because the writing ideas flow great, what doesn’t is the pen to paper or fingers to keys other than missives such as this where I open the top of my head and dump the contents of my brain…well more like skim the congealed fat off the soup…onto to whatever media I currently fancy which seems to be paper.

Paper just takes. Takes my ink. Takes my ideas. And paper holds. The only editing I can do to paper is scratch out the words, erase the words-but no the indentation caused through the force of my writing is still there-or crumple up the paper, the ultimate form of editing. See, I crumpled up your words and tossed them into the trash (or in my case tossed them in the direction of the trash, I am a horrible thrower of things into other things). You can’t crumple up a computer as easily or a file…although you delete…then again nothing is ever deleted forever…like herpes, pen to paper, and that one night-stand you really really wish would stop calling you…it was one night damnit.

One Night Stand with Accessories 🙂

No, not you. Some other one night stand. You know that time at the place where the thing and all of that.

What does a writer on hiatus (good word) do during apparently the only month when writers are supposed to write do? This writer reads. This writer paints. This writer jots down notes for later. This writer does not write. The soul of this writer just doesn’t give a damn during the month of November.

“Substitute ‘damn’ every time you’re inclined to write ‘very;’ your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.”

-Mark Twain

Rounding Up Can Kiss My Ass

“At 50, everyone has the face he deserves.”

-George Orwell

Scrunching her face up, her deep thinking pose, our girl says the following while pointing at me across the table, “You said he is older than you.”

“Yep,” Barb says and then leans in and whispers something into our girl’s ear.

“So fifties,” she says with a smile.

I’m laughing.

“If you round up like my teacher says to then you are in your fifties.”

Screw you math!

Maybe you can tell or maybe you cannot because I really haven’t said much about the subject like I normally do, but based on our daughter’s rounding math my birthday is somewhere in the near future. No, I am not fishing for any happy birthdays. Although if you want to send some along I am not saying no.

“It’s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.”

-Andy Rooney

What I am saying apparently is that my birthday is around the corner and due to a rounding lesson I have jumped from spry 40ish to spry 50ish. I refuse to say older or old because as my doctor recently put it…

“You are,” making the hand gestures for smaller than larger, “…smaller. I don’t need to see you for 6 months, keep up the exercise.”

Suck it exercise bike my ass is on you for LIFE! Life I say. I will become an indoor biker wearing really tight bicycling shorts peddling to nowhere while watching WhatCulture (What Culture is fucking hilarious…to me) on YouTube until the fat falls off and the muscles split my overly tight pants…until I look like a Greek God…probably Pan, but you get the idea, ripped and hairy…no flute playing…or is there? 🙂

Normally or typically around the start of the month of my birth I get all melancholy (personally I like meloncowly; think water melon and cow or insert your favorite melon and bovine…now that is a mental image) and waxing nostalgic. Not this year. No clue why other than waxing hurts and life has done a lot of changing over the past year and I am still attempting to come to grips with the changes. No nothing is wrong, just we went from college destitute to post college life and despite having had a pre-college destitute life this new phase is a hell of a lot more fun.

Without meloncowly and nostalgia to drive me for a month what is there? Well a shit ton of painting, terrain building, writing, house cleaning, dishes, dinners, schedules, and taking care of all of the bullshit that makes up a day in the life of ME, which does not sound better in Klingon although if I had to guess my life would only marginally be more interesting if I was a Klingon…actually probably a lot worse…speaking of which, watch Orville if you can. I don’t care if you don’t like Seth McFarlane this show has all of the feel good vibes of Star Trek with a better sense of how things should be in that the characters act as people. Trust me.

And that is why rounding up can kiss my ass!

“And here…we…go!”

-Joker

Piss Off! Working :)

“I hate writing, I love having written.”

-Dorothy Parker

Before any of my relatives who read this get too excited, I am still a stay-at-home, exercise bike riding, painting, writer. That being said I said, can I say said twice so shortly in one sentence? I guess if I am quoting myself and I am, shit need the quote marks, “I will write when I have something of interest to write about.” Or something like that and likely better in the original Klingon…let’s see…

qapumchu’meH HeghDI’ vay’ Daj ghItlh umqu’ ghot jIH

-Finally Klingon for every word 🙂

See that was better. The gist of the story and my “absence” (the quotes indicate that the word absence is not what I truly meant, just a handy tip from me to…well probably me) is that I am hard at work redoing Puddles and Whiskers. Yes, I know how many times can one person work or one reader read the same stuff? The answer for me at least is, UNTIL I GET IT WRITE! See what I did there?

As a writer or as this writer, I am very happy with my writing until I am not, typically this happens while reviewing (my new word for editing in an attempt to make editing more palatable like adding ketchup or pepper to shitty food, which by the way, if you add ketchup or pepper to food I make for you the first thing I think is “They think my food taste bad”) my writing, something I do a lot with Puddles and Whiskers. However, this time the act of attempting to write a follow-up got me in a state of unhappiness with the writing.

So I pondered and pondered out loud on Puddles and Whiskers and of all things while watching Silicon Valley hit on the idea of a pivot point. This pivot point, instead of wedging Puddles and Whiskers into Stroud why not alter Stroud to fit them? Thus over the past few…however long since I posted DICTATIONSHIP, I have been working on turning Stroud into Menagerie.

Our girl’s Puddles and Whiskers art, by the way. There is more art on Puddles and Whiskers. 🙂

Menagerie for everyone who is not a long time reader, is a serial story I started with animals in space. Space is science fiction, Stroud is a science fiction cyberpunkish setting, thus one plus one equals a lot of work for me. I wasn’t sure how the story would work out, but had to try because I was stuck.

The result, in my opinion, a hell of a lot better. While altering the characters into animals, I found story elements that needed to change or alter, resulting in a stronger story with less “AH HA” moments or “What the Fuck, where did that come from” moments than before. Now, I am not finished, but I am further along that I thought I would get. Oh yeah, for those who want to see a sample of what I am talking about, here you go (yes a link I like the pretty colors.)

So like I said, less bullshit here and more substance. Finding a better story within a story I already enjoyed is something of substance for myself, those who enjoy Puddles and Whiskers, and fellow writers who find themselves stuck…sometimes making a pivot point is the best way to get unstuck.

“I think there are two types of writers, the architects and the gardeners. The architects plan everything ahead of time, like an architect building a house. They know how many rooms are going to be in the house, what kind of roof they’re going to have, where the wires are going to run, what kind of plumbing there’s going to be. They have the whole thing designed and blueprinted out before they even nail the first board up. The gardeners dig a hole, drop in a seed and water it. They kind of know what seed it is, they know if planted a fantasy seed or mystery seed or whatever. But as the plant comes up and they water it, they don’t know how many branches it’s going to have, they find out as it grows. And I’m much more a gardener than an architect.”

-George R.R. Martin

 

Maybe The Exercise Bike Is Right

“Your days are numbered. Use them to throw open the windows of your soul to the sun. If you do not, the sun will soon set, and you with it.”

-Marcus Aurelius, The Emperor’s Handbook

The exercise bike says I am a fat ass out of shape writer. Fine it did not say the writer part.

The list to my left says I have something I have not had for a while, goals and the means to reach them.

The list beneath my keyboard says I have something to do each day, even if that something is not something I want to do.

Welcome to my climbing out of the chasm-sized rut. To wit, this will be your regular post…once a week on Sunday at sometime. After reading the past few whatevers of posts I have decided to post once a week here. This has two effects-

  1. hopefully when I post I have something to say other than what is on my mind or what I did; for those who want to know what I have done, ask
  2. reduce the amount of time wasted allowing me to focus on goals such as figuring out where the u key is today. Sorry, such as having a rough draft of the complete second arc of Puddles and Whiskers done by the 22nd of the month or riding the exercise bike three to four times a week

I think about covers it, hardly entertaining…oh wait…

Destiny 2 released last week and we have played from the moment the game went live in our area. This amount of play may account for the fat ass comment by the bike, screw you bike, getting my warlock to level 20 was important to me in the same way as…name some other video game related goal and it was as important as that.

As a long time Destiny player I feel they got this sequel right. The bad guy is an actual bad guy with bad guy dialog and a desire to defeat the bad guy, which never happened to us in Destiny 1.

Graphics are a huge improvement as are the 1,000’s of tiny tweaks such as being able to color each component of your character or characters will attempt to catch the edge of something and pull themselves up instead of bouncing off the edge and falling to their doom or bad guys fight better or public events are awesome. No longer do you go into a public event knowing exactly what will happen, sometimes a public event increases in difficulty as more enemies arrive or new enemies or in one case last night-one tank turned into two then into two tanks with a major enemy from another faction and then a major enemy from the tank faction and that was without the six or seven players taking part.

I expected to be let down because the last few expansion of Destiny 1 were let downs after a huge hype machine. So far, we (boy, girl, Barb, friend, and I) have not been let down.

Now that really is it until next week. Go out and have a great week.

“May I never be complete.
May I never be content.
May I never be perfect.”

-Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club   

 

When The Rut Is A Chasm

“The ability to speak does not make you intelligent.”

-George Lucas

Can we talk?

I’d like to think so, but I know the reality. This really is me typing for me and along the way some people stop by and read and whole lot more spammers attempt their nefarious, yet hideously stupid, plans to clog the interwebs up with shit and there are plenty of times where I look around and think to myself, maybe they have the right idea the interwebs at time do resemble a sewer system so why not clog it full of shit that nobody wants or needs unless you happen to be a Nigerian Prince, which how many of those are there? I’m going to guess not a lot, bordering on one or two, I guess I could look it up but I really don’t care because no Nigerian Prince is going swoop in on his…whatever Nigerian Princes ride on or in and save the day, not that my day needs saving, but princes saving things is what Disney taught me and Disney wouldn’t lie would they?

See I’m in a rut.

I finished Wil Wheaton’s Just a Geek and realized that I was stuck in a rut. For those interested, Just a Geek is a good book if you like reading blogs written by Wil Wheaton and to a certain degree me, seems we have or had a similar writing style. Yet if you are a me you also come to the conclusion that the book is slightly depressing because…well you too have not done much with your life despite trying or in the case of Wil Wheaton tried and succeeded.

Me…I keep trying or do I? I’m not really sure anymore, just like I still have no clue what I want to be when I grow up. This writing thing is pretty cool and I seem to have some talent for it, but then what? Write a book? That seems to be the catch all answer to the “What to do when you are a writer” question. What if and I am being serious here, see how I told you I was being serious, what if I don’t have a book in me?

What if, and pretend I did this because I did, I published five books and nobody bought a copy? Try to imagine how that fucks with that answer, because it does and I did. One book was full of naked women too…now how fucked up is that? Really fucked up.

The first four books just like Wil Wheaton’s Just a Geek, copies of my “blog” at the time, in a very similar style, although I have to say mine have a bit more humor and anger in them than his does. See I don’t have a problem writing about me here or anywhere else. Despite what you may think about the tone and structure most of what I write is about me and how I really think about things.

I tend to avoid “controversial” things such as politics, the state of the country, state of the world and recent or trending events because I am not an expert and plenty of people can voice their opinion. I don’t like opinion. However those interested, downward slope is my answer to all of the above things I don’t normally write about, hell until now never write about.

So I am down here at the bottom of this rut which as I look up is more a chasm. I need to find the thing I should be doing now in addition to the other things I should be doing…

good example, I love being a parent even when I have to yell, which I don’t like doing (Yes some of you may think I like yelling and being a dick, I don’t-sometimes messages are received clearer at volume and from someone you can despise for a bit).

I think that ends my example.

I cook (not all of the food gets eaten we are horrible with leftovers) and to be honest the amount of cooking I do in relation to the good feels I used to get is slanted in favor of I cook, they eat it, I…I don’t know what

I write this blog, but honestly blogging has not been fun for a few years. It used to be fun when I wrote about sex and lots of people talked to and with me, only one person talked at me. Here nobody…okay that is not correct my mother (who asks when Puddles and Whiskers is going to be new, I directed her to their blog), and KDaddy who always has something I find funny or insightful to say and…that’s it.

I do write this for myself, but I really enjoy when people take part. Do you want to know how people take part now, they read to see if they are in the blog and my take on the events that they were witness to…except I don’t do that very often or I embellish the events so much in the interest of storytelling to obliterate what really happened…

Why? because I got tired of people telling me the only reason they read what I wrote was to see their name in print. This isn’t print. All it took to drive that home was a former friend who asked me to include his most horrible behavior to his soon to be ex-girlfriend, because “wouldn’t that be a fun blog?” No you dick, it would not and did not and forever altered my writing on here in the same way as my family reading the blog and then attempting to confront me about the things I did…

And what does this have to do with being in a rut? I sit here, now every other day, as part of a routine, a new routine to be sure, but still a routine and I write what is on my mind, but not everything that is on my mind and I feel NOTHING.

NOTHING at all about my writing. Okay that is not true, Puddles and Whiskers gets my attention and yes I am still working on them they have their own website with art (thank you children and Chris Cortright). Everything else…not a thing…other than I hate the Geoglyphs and Alpaca’s post. I mean I love that people are learning about

  1. Geoglyphs
  2. Alpacas
  3. and the answer to an Animal Crossing puzzle that is at least five years old

But the people, numbering in the thousands, who have visited the post for that answer, never read anything else…fucking Animal Crossing…

Any who, I blather on about nothing and then move on. I no longer read my own posts unless I am having some contemplation time (read reading on the toilet) and I do that because I cannot remember what I wrote most of the time. That right there bothers me the most because I put, over the years, a lot of time and effort into this blog and yet I cannot remember most of what I wrote in the last six months or so because it was mindless drivel about a day, a thing, or an incident.

People seem to love my game reviews. I don’t. I’m not what I think of as an interesting reviewer.  I play the games. I write what happened. To me not very interesting. Thus I don’t know why people read what I write about when it comes to games. I’d like to know, but like I said somewhere up there, I get very little feedback at all

Sad thought of mine brought about by Wil Wheaton’s Just a Geek is that I miss the old days. I don’t like living in the past. I love learning from the past, but here I have been for the past few months longing for the past when I wrote about sex and people spoke to me, spoke to each other, and there was general sense of reason, belonging, and that people were reading. Nothing says people reading like someones commenting on something you wrote in the middle of a three-thousand (yes 3,000) word post on threesomes.

Now…

 

 

silence

Why don’t I write about sex? Because WordPress is run by or managed by a lot of single minded puritans who…suffice to say some reader somewhere got their nose out of joint because SEX, complained and WordPress had a field day finding sex blogs and blocking, banning, or booting them (those were some fun months)…other than that because we have not had the resources for me to start my own hosted site…

So can we talk?

“Let children read whatever they want and then talk about it with them. If parents and kids can talk together, we won’t have as much censorship because we won’t have as much fear.”

-Judy Blume