Why Do We Have Children? To Find Lost Things

I feel pretty confident saying this, if you have children you are very used to finding lost items in the strangest of places.  I have not had this experience with a pet and pre-children if I lost and then found something I generally was not that surprised.  Whose lost items you may be asking? Well yours and theirs.  The stuff that you lost is usually surprising because you did not actually lose the item, they borrowed said item, lost the item, and then you found the item.  They being the children of course.

“How did this get in here?”

“Umm..well…you lost it.”

“I lost the only pen that has my company name on it that was in a drawer that you are not supposed to go into and then found the pen in the middle of your Lego dungeon?”

“I think my sister (or brother) took it”


What’s better is sending your child off to school with a hat, pair of gloves, coat, pants, shirt, and shoes and watching to see what comes home.

“Where is your hat?”

“I don’t know.”

“Is it in your bag?”


“Did you leave your hat at school?”

“I don’t know.”


What is even more entertaining than wondering what will come home is when something new comes home.

“Where are your gloves?”

“Right here.”

“Those aren’t your gloves.”


“Where did you get those gloves?”

“I don’t know.”


So what do you do when your child has lost things or found new things?  You go to the school.  First stop at lost and found or in the case of my boy’s school you stop at the General Lost and Found first.  What is the General Lost and Found?  That is a cart, a box, and coat rack of items, both adult and children’s, that have been found over the day, week, month, and maybe even the last century that has not been sorted.  The odds of you finding something of yours are slim.  The odds of you finding something interesting are high.  Such as a scarf that you had as a kid, but you weren’t in this part of the state when you were a child.  A small collection of cars, rubber balls, and other tiny toys.  Once you have given up, which I think is the point of the General Lost and Found, if you are in the know you can go to the Locker of Fate or the Box of Destiny.

The Locker of Fate is the last locker in a row.  The Locker of Fate is an unassuming locker.  Looking at the Locker of Fate you would be tempted to think, “Can’t be much in there.”  Erroneously thinking this you open the Locker of Fate and are buried under a seemingly never ending pile of coats, shoes, and the occasional lunch box.  Those three items are the only items in the locker, but there are hundreds of each mystically stuffed into this locker.  If you open the Locker of Fate you are responsible for putting the stuff back. A Herculean task that you will not be able to do on your own.  I am pretty sure there is at least one good coat per student in the school in there and yet all of the students have coats.  Very odd.

The Box of Destiny is only for the bravest of parents looking for lost goods.  You must posses a strong will, stomach, and not being able to smell stuff is a good thing as well.  Placed into a utility closet with a vending machine is a cardboard box filled with nothing other than shoes.  At least there appears to be nothing more than shoes, yet when you ask if there is another place to look other than the General Lost and Found most people are directed to the Box of Destiny.  Implying that at the bottom of the box your item may be found, if you survive.

So what did we find?  Two gloves.  Not two matching gloves.  Two individual gloves to pairs of gloves that we both had recently seen our boy wearing to school and home.  Just odd.




2 thoughts on “Why Do We Have Children? To Find Lost Things

  1. hahaha. I love it when my son comes home with a jacket twice his size and not even remotely the color he wore to school….
    Or my daughter…lost her tights. They have not been seen since…nor do I know why they were removed from her legs in the first place.

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