Imperial Victory Scratcher Pot Roast

“Uh…”

“What the?!”

“We lost?”

imagesNHZ7YRS7The rebels were stunned. The rebel players were stunned even more. At the end of our fourth Imperial Assault campaign mission, the Empire had won.  Even with Chewbacca’s assistance, the rebels failed. They did not fail because of bad luck. They failed because they forgot the objective-get the spice barrels, not kill as many stormtroopers as possible. As a representative of the Empire, I was overjoyed. First, my first solid victory. Second, the assault armor and combat medic upgrades paid for themselves. I think I smiled when not only were there stormtroopers in play after the rebel turn, but the stormtroopers were able to heal some of the damage.

Let this be a lesson to all rebel players, do not forget the objective. We Imperial players have one goal, keep you from winning. We do not have to think about anything else other than crushing your hopes and dreams of victory. On the other hand, you rebels need to think about the objective, staying alive, and a whole of other things. Must be tough having the weight of the galaxy on your back. Me, I only have to fill out a requisition form for more troops.

To celebrate the victory, the Empire (me) decided to make a pot roast today. Nothing special, a large hunk of beef, some stock, carrots, onions, garlic, and…what is missing…bread, nope I have that. Something is missing. Oh yeah, the potatoes. Ah well, a hunk of cooked meat is still cooked meat. Maybe not the same as pizza, but I will make this victory pot roast taste like, victory.

The rebel players (read, Barb and the kids) moped around today. While at the store where someone, not me, forgot the potatoes, the children in an attempt to bolster their flagging spirits, announced that they wanted some scratch-off lottery tickets.

imagesIMYJZ3P3“dad, do you have any scratchers?”

“What?”

“Scratch off lottery tickets.”

“Where did you hear about that?”

“Family guy, Stewie…”

“And why do you want scratch off lottery tickets?”

“Well…we never had one before and we want to see one. You can use a penny…”

At this point I was laughing my ass off and thinking ahead, birthdays would become a lot easier for a while. Slowly ramp up the birthdays, first lottery tickets, following year lottery tickets and cigarettes, birthday after that lottery tickets, cigarettes, and case of beer, and the birthday after that lottery tickets, cigarettes, case of beer, and a prostitute. Yep, looks like birthdays are going to get a lot easier around here for at least the next few years. And who knows, maybe one or two of the tickets will be winners, at least enough to pay for the cigarettes, beer, or cheap prostitute.

 

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