Birthday Smack Down

My girl is a lot like me. We see the world through similar lens, mine is tinted with age and experience, and her’s is tinted wonder. Our girl turned seven and as per family tradition we did whatever she wanted. The tradition is not to do whatever she wants, but for the birthday person…you get the idea. Bare with me, I am sleep deprived.

For her birthday our girl wanted to play video games and open presents. I think she was still pissed about being on the losing side of the Imperial Assault campaign. After the obligatory game of Minecraft, which now that I have installed a lot of music on the Xbox is a lot of fun to play; killing creepers to Lady Gaga or Ministry is fun. 🙂 Then came Tomb Raider.

tomb-raider-2015_00438580I remember the original Tomb Raider, so I said sure why not play this newer version. Holy shitsnacks! I winced when Lara fell onto a sharp stick and using the control pad you yank the stick out of her side. Then there was the escape from the tunnels and creepy guy. My girl handled the whole thing like a trooper. Lara Croft is everything my girl has been looking for in a female video game character. She takes charge. She kicks ass and she can jump (my girl wanted me to point that out). Hunt down and gut deer, Lara and my girl were up for the challenge. Leg stuck in a bear trap with wolves on the prowl, shoot the wolves in the throat and then remove foot. I was in full proud papa mode. Normally, she will ask for help repeatedly during a game. Not this time, she only needed help twice and that was with a button smashing segment, she doesn’t smash buttons fast enough for the game. Tomb Raider embolden her.

“I ain’t sharing my popcorn with no whiny ass pussies,” she announced before challenging any of us to Mortal Kombat.

MortalkombatfondosThen for the next hour and a half proceeded to lay the smack down on anyone who challenged her and let me tell you the things she said…well for a girl of her age were as impressive as they were nonsensical. “Get over here and take your beating like a banana!” She meant that. “You did not just hit me. Take the back of my hand.” I stopped playing for five minutes because I couldn’t breathe I was laughing so hard.

This morning was less emboldened behavior and an interest in the finer things of birthdays, PRESENTS. Stated on gifts and pizza our girl has spent the rest of the day relaxing on Barbie movies and My Little Pony.

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