I stopped reading my portfolio presentation feedback. I may finish the pile one day, but right now, at this very moment, I am bothered. I should not be bothered. I have been told not to be bothered. But it still bothers me.
“You sounded very professional. You talked about sex in a professional manner, but sex is not a professional topic.”
- I sounded professional
- I discussed sex and answered the sex related questions in a professional manner
- Sex is not professional
A good friend, explained to me that I caused them cognitive dissonance and I did make a positive impact upon those who experienced the dissonance. What is cognitive dissonance? “In psychology, cognitive dissonance is the mental stress or discomfort experienced by an individual who holds two or more contradictory beliefs, ideas, or values at the same time, or is confronted by new information that conflicts with existing beliefs, ideas, or values.”
I knew going in that the sex would be a sore point, but the sex was one of three topics that I discussed, but sex was the one that most people had questions and comments on. Hell, even suggestions with what I could do in a positive fashion. Thus, when I walked off stage I was pleased not only with my performance, but the live feedback I received. How can asking me many questions and giving positive feedback be anything but good? When I crashed against the walls of cognitive dissonance.
Many times I have written about my distaste for the pushback I have received since I arrived here around the subject of sex. To be clear, there have been supportive people, but the majority of people here pushback hard. This would not be an issue to me, except that I am in college. College a place where the expression and exploration of knowledge used to be accepted. Oh, I forgot Kinsey got a face full of shit from academia as well. Am I Kinsey, no. But we both write and talk about sex.
I know, I am being stupid thinking, no hoping that opinions on sexual material would change from Kinsey to now, but damn it they should. If I had got up in front of the audience stripped naked, covered myself in mustard while dancing to Bjork and called it An Ode to Yello it would have been better received. Announcing that I write about human sexuality to entertain (erotica) and to inform (any of my non-erotica sexual writing) I am told in writing that while I was professional my topic is not. When the topic is me what does that really mean? I would have rather received feedback on my clothing, at least that would have made sense to me.