Out of Balance

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I write two or three times a day and it does not feel like enough. Then write more. No, if I write to much I start churning out crap. I learned a while ago that sideboarding the writing urge is a good thing for me. To much writing and I get sloppy. To little writing and I over analyze. The key is to find a balance. When college is in session that balance is skewed out of proportion to the point where I have a hard time writing for myself-one of the reasons I c0-founded Island of Misfit Writers-college is out of session and I am finding myself drifting again.

Before the last class of the semester I set out a plan for the summer: edit a bunch of stuff and resume self-publishing again. Along the way find something for me to work on to occupy my mind and writing. With no other writing to occupy my time I finished the editing. Really I did. I even finished inserting the edits. Other than a cover image, which I am working on, I am done with the first pocket book.

Out of balance.

I am trying to find something else to occupy me. I could write a lot more for Nail Clippers which has turned into a novel in the making, but I am enjoying the every other day pace of writing and posting. I fear if I work on Nail Clippers as much as I want the quality will suffer. At this moment I am pleased with the quality and direction, thus I am taking a “If it isn’t broken don’t fix it” approach to that project.

I was going to write a roleplaying game or supplement, but I find the longer I am away from writing my own games the less I miss working on them. I love playing games, but the desire to create my own gets smaller each passing month. Probably a good thing as I wasn’t too convinced I was being as original as I thought I was. I also realized that I needed to take a step back from creation because my process was the same process that I have been railing against for years: overburdened writing, standardized organization, and so on. I don’t want to create that which I rail against, so best I take a step back or two.

With the kids in school writing about the games we play has to wait for the weekend. Try as I might playing tabletop games solo is not as fun as the game designers and marketers would like you to believe. An exception being Pathfinder Adventure Card Game, that was fun solo, but as I wrote about earlier this week the latest storyline is not catching my attention.

I have been reading and cooking, but nothing I haven’t written about before and definitely nothing new…

Hopefully in a few more days the last of the “What do I need to do” mentality from the semester will bleed off and I can find that balance for the rest of my break. Right now, I feel out of balance.

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7 thoughts on “Out of Balance

  1. It’s a sticky wicket. I’ve had almost the opposite problem, in a sense, in that I’ve struggled to find time to write until recently. I think that I’ve bulldozed my way back into it, and now I’m in a good place insofar as how much writing I do, and how interested I am with what I write.

    But it’s an intense cyclical experience. Being on the downside of that cycle is difficult. Taking on large projects will sometimes put me in a burnout mode. It’s easy to be thrown out of balance. Maybe some kind of meditation, whether literal or figurative about what a balanced writing regiment might mean.

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    1. Ankoku1331

      My apologies for the late response, I was out of town. Bulldozed your way back into writing is an interesting phrase and has me wondering how much of an effort it was for you to get back into writing? I mention this because a friend of mine is a professor of English, but until recently has not written for herself in a long time and is finding it to be a struggle.

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      1. I think the ennui that I had over having no creative outlet started to build up like a dammed river. Eventually, I started to write on sticky notes until I had so much that I had to transfer it for fear of losing my organization. Then it just kept coming. But mostly it was about finding a structured time. It doesn’t have to be the same time, just an allotment of time each day.

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      2. Ankoku1331

        I’m hoping something similar happens for her. She is carrying around a notebook and a pen, so that is a start.

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