Why Can’t Monkey Read?

I had one thing I wanted to make today, Dan Dan Noodles. Dan Dan Noodles is ground pork, noodles, and a spicy sauce. I love Dan Dan Noodles especially when they sit over night. A nice spicy dish, gets hotter, and hotter each day. So delicious.

To make Dan Dan Noodles, I went to get ground pork and green onion. Unfortunately, today was weekender day. Weekenders are people who stop here before traveling onto their camping spot. Why here? Because here is the easiest place to get off the highway, hit a big box store, and get back onto the highway. Every Thursday and Friday, hundreds of people crowd the big box store making shopping way more difficult than it should be.

For example, the dumbass who every time he saw someone he “knew” from the campground, ran over to them, bumping into other people, almost knocking down an elderly woman, and hip checking a display of bell peppers to say “hi.” He either could not see their “what the fuck” expression or did not know what it meant. I know he didn’t see mine. Worse than him were the people who stood in place. There did not seem to be a reason for them to stand, not like they were forming a human obstacle course or there was a rampaging T-Rex in the store. Nope, they stood in place.

And where they stood was usually where I wanted to go. Hordes of people annoy me in the first place. When I am at a place to get three items, I needed lemons as well, I have even less patience for with humans. This may explain why neither I nor Barb noticed the labels (notice the s) on the ground pork. Speaking of which, does anyone work at a big box store, such as Meijers? If so, can you tell me why meat is moved from one aisle to another seemingly at random? Ground pork used to be next ground hamburger and turkey. Now ground pork has been separated to another aisle all by itself. The nearest meat, veal and liver.

Hordes of standers, moved meat, and not in the mood could be why when we (meaning Barb and I) found the pork we grabbed it and bolted to checkout never suspecting the ground pork was anything other than ground pork. After all who would do anything to the pork? The answer, some employee told to season the meat “italian style.” What the hell?

Yep, got home cut a hole in the plastic wrap and was slapped in the nostrils by oregano, garlic, and fennel. That got us looking at the meat, not the label, and wondering what happened. Then we looked at the labels, “italian style seasoning” ground pork. The fennel stench ensured I was not using the pork for anything other than meatballs. Damnit! Backup plan, use hamburger. Hamburger Dan Dan is good, but not as good as pork. Stupid standers, moved meat, not in the mood, and big box seasoners.


3 thoughts on “Why Can’t Monkey Read?

  1. Your aggravations make for an entertaining read lol. Also, I really want Dan Dan Noodles now. (Never had them, but they sound amazing. Anything spicy I find amazing.)

    1. Ankoku1331

      The Chinese Takeout Cookbook by Diana Kuan is where I got the recipe and have modified many times-mostly in the what spice to use category. Glad you enjoyed my frustrations. 🙂

  2. Pingback: This Is Not The Food You Are Looking For | Speaking Out on Life

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