500 Words At A Time: The First of Many Things I Won’t Miss

I wasn’t planning on writing this at this point in the process, but today has been one of those days where the things that stand out in the negative practically light up the room. Without any more preamble, here is the first of many things I will not miss once I graduate…

Exams. I will not miss taking exams or tests. I will especially not miss taking exams where the professor is attempting to demonstrate how smart or clever they are.

Online posts. I will not miss having to check in each and every day to see if a student has posted something in an online class that I can respond too with something more than, “I agree with that.”

Classroom Silence. I will not miss sitting in classrooms where nobody says anything.

Listening to Yet Another… I will not miss another incipit story from a student about their drunken escapades, plans to get drunk, plans to get high, plans to go party, plans to…do anything that people their age think are important and interesting.

Grades. I will not miss grades. Not that I cared about my grades. I will not miss those letters entirely as I will continue using them to write, but they will no longer define who I am and what I have accomplished to those people who choose not to bother getting to know me.

Cars With Loud Bass. I will not miss dumbasses who have cars with loud bass. I love music, but I get nothing out of hearing only the boom of bass and the rattle of the quarter panels of the shit box you are driving.

Getting Coffee. I will not miss being asked to get coffee. I understand that talking over coffee has become a cultural norm, but I do not like coffee, thus the experience is lost on me.

Registration. I will not miss registration.

Classes. I will not misses classes. I will miss the opportunity to learn in a formalized fashion, but classes themselves I will not miss.

Textbooks. I will not miss textbooks. Textbooks are heavy and the price paid to purchase or rent are out of proportion to the amount of use and value that any has textbook provided.

Writing. I will not miss writing, that is what I do. I will not miss writing about things that are of no interest to me. Far too many papers were written about things I was not interested in, saw little value in writing about, or that I gave my all to.

The Rock. I will not miss the Rock. The Rock is one of the “dining” places on campus. The service is surly at best. The food mediocre at best. The atmosphere, painful.

Parking. I will not miss paying $100 for a parking sticker that only works in front of my apartment. I will not miss having to search for a parking spot in the only lot where my parking sticker applies.

Move In and Out. I will not miss watching fucktards move in and out. I will no longer have to wonder, which of these people is going to be trouble this year. Is this one the drug dealer this year? Is that one the one who will have his entire family from Grand Rapids or Detroit move in with him when no one is looking? Is this one going to abuse his or her spouse?

Traffic. I will not miss the increase in traffic caused by students. Further, I will not miss the daily traffic accident caused by students. Nor will I miss almost getting hit on foot and in vehicle caused by students too busy on their phones to pay attention.

Financial Aid. I will not miss the yearly dance with financial aid. From the paperwork and forms to wondering if I will get enough money to pay for my classes, books, parking sticker, supplies, and have enough leftover to provide for our needs over the year.

These are just the first of many things I will not miss.


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