15 Seconds of Don’t Draw That

Allow me to take a break from 500 Words to tell you about my day. The alarm did not go off or if it did, I did not hear it. Being me, I got the kids up, out the door on time, AND with a belly full of sugary breakfast goodness. Their cereal makes my stomach churn with how “healthy” it is-seriously, how is a bowlful of sugar and grains a good first meal of the day. And people look at me weird when I make a bowl of hellbroth ham ramen.

Awake and child free my first task of the day was to take an injured friend to an orthopedic appointment. Big Rapids has several sports teams, but only seems to have one orthopedist, who could be in one of two buildings. Yes, we entered one building only to have to travel to another building to find the orthopedist’s office. I wish we had gone elsewhere.

Pain_ChartThere is a line in Scrubs about doctors seeing you for 15 seconds. This orthopedist LIVED that line. He walked in and never once looked at my friend, even while pushing on my friend’s knee and causing her to make the #10 face from the pain chart. Kept asking how the knee felt. Then came the best part…

“You’re taking toradol?”

“No, tramadol.”

“They’re the same thing.”

6x8-dorianNO THEY ARE NOT! My friend is allergic to NSAIDs and toradol is an NSAID. I have this on the word of several pharmacists and pharmacists to be. When his 15-seconds was up, he gave contrary medical advice from the ER doctors and common sense. She was using a leg immobilizer and crutches to get around (except on campus, where she has missed four classes because Ferris has not kept the sidewalks clean enough for someone using crutches and when she called Housing about the snow and ice on her handicapped walk they don’t remove snow around her house) and his advice was to stop using the immobilizer and crutches, to take a chance on the knee. Suffice to say she called for a second opinion and I know that should I or anyone need to see an orthopedist, he is not getting our business.

From the 15-second orthopedist we found a man having possibly the worst day. As we stepped in line the scanner at the register died. The man’s name tag, identified him as the Electronic Specialist. He stood their apologetic until a replacement scanner was found, “Funny, me being in electronics and the electronics going out.” He spoke too soon, the register locked up, and stayed locked up until someone was found.

Earlier in the day the injured friend had been telling me about something she read on Facebook where if you draw a penis instead of signing your name for credit card purchases, the cashier asks for your ID. I was trying to get my friend to draw the penis, jokingly. The cashier looked perplexed as the conversation unfolded…

“Wait, draw the thing.”

“No.”

“Do it, draw it.”

“No.”

“You are right, he has had a bad enough day.”

I turned to the cashier and said, “We heard that if you draw a man’s…thingie, that you have to ask for her ID.”

“Thank you for not drawing a man thingie,” he said with a laugh.

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