You may thank me later, your test has been postponed.

FUCK A COWThis is my son or at least, at one time this used to be my son. Other than taller and a quicker wit he hasn’t changed much. Fine, that is a lie. His interests in pirates has waned and his interest in owning a smelter where he smelts anything metal to make iron bars to make iron tools and weapons has grown.

I have no idea where in the hell the last 11 years have gone. I distinctly remember being a huge dick with anger issues-I was fine with my anger, it was other people who had problems with my anger. I distinctly remember going out dancing and doing whatever I wanted. Read, I wanted. And overnight there was someone more important than me in my life.

Eleven years ago, my life changed, completely and forever. It took sometime to become the dad I am now. Yes, small d. I am glad my son came into my life and I am glad he took over my life in the only way a kid can, completely. There were no second thoughts and there have not been any serious second thoughts since then (there are times where I wonder if I have had any serious thoughts at all since then).

My boyAs a parent, I have taken my job of ensuring that a future therapist has a regular client seriously. Although my son claims to not understand sarcasm, he sure as hell knows how to be sarcastic. You have me to thank for that. Since we are on the subject of thanking me: To any future significant others, you can thank me for any Legos you step on in the middle of the night, his preoccupation with learning everything he can about anything-especially if it is a fun topic, the late nights he plays Minecraft and seems to ignore you, and for how when he does show his affection you will wonder if you have been smothered to death in love. Of course, Legos and Minecraft first.

I watch with rapt attention each day as he grows up, fascinated by the changes that have something to do with me and more fascinated by the changes that have nothing to do with me at all. I don’t think I will ever cease to be fascinated by the person he turns into:

  • Be that the owner of sushi restaurant where he refuses to eat any of the food;
  • the marketing agent for a Chinese restaurant where I do all of the work while he is out handing out free samples;
  • owner of a metal to iron smelter making iron tools for humanity;
  • a pirate;
  • a Lego Master Builder;
  • the owner of Lego;
  • an architect;
  • or his latest interest, a nuclear scientist…

I know he doesn’t read my blog, thus I feel safe embarrassing him by saying, Thank you son for all that you have done to this old man…gray hair is a new thing for me…eleven years of ups and downs, stories, fun, and exploring the world together. I love you and am looking forward to watching you continue to grow in the human being you will become. Just one thing, one day I will be staying with you for a visit and I will wake you up at 3:45 am to ask for a glass of water with ice that I won’t drink and while you are gone getting that glass of water with ice that I won’t drink I will be sprinkling some Legos around for you to step on. 🙂




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