Delusional Self-Confidence Is…

I have a new keyboard. It and I are not agreeing on how fast I type and how to display what I type. The new keyboard, which is grounded for the day, is much better than this keyboard I am using, as it has keys where this one is touch. I like keys. I like the sound and feel of keys under my fingers. I type faster with keys. Keys on a keyboard are like noises during sex or smells while cooking, you just know you are doing something right.

Trust me on that.

Sex and cooking aside, the new keyboard allows me to type blistering fast. So fast that many of you have noticed a lot more errors creeping into recent posts than normal. More than I am willing to pass off as “this is my hobby place and errors happen from time to time.” I apologize for those errors and take responsibility for them. I have been correcting them as I find them or they are pointed out to me by my in-house editor.

You may be saying to yourself, “Why don’t you read over the posts and correct the errors before hitting publish, its what I do.” I applaud your self-control. That is what reading over a post and editing is before hitting publish. I lack that self-control. Plus, I admit there is a bit of “I want the world to read what great thing I just wrote” going on. Not that I believe that everything I write is that great, but if I didn’t have that delusional self-confidence then I would not be the writer and man I am.

And that is why my keyboard is grounded for the day.

What I lack in self-control and posses in delusional self-confidence I make up through a willingness to accept editing and feedback from others. No, I don’t listen to people to tell me how to live, write, or dress, but I do know that there are a lot of people who edit way better than I ever will. On that note, I did score next to last on my editing exam, so I wasn’t the worst of the class…just next to worst. I know my strengths and editing is not one of them…in the traditional manner.

The comma. This , little mark right here , is my nemesis. After five years of education on writing, the comma and I still do not get along. I have learned so much while in college, but the comma and I refuse to see eye to eye. I get it’s function. It’s purpose. But I write like I talk. I know I shouldn’t do that, but write what you know and all of that. There are a lot of …’s in my speech or pauses for effects. There are a lot of statements and declarations. There are few exclamations unless they are expletive filled, fuck all! There are a lot of non-sequiturs and run on sentences as I flow from thought to thought without pause, unless it is dramatic. What there is not a lot of is commas. At least none that I can see.

And that is why the comma and I shall remain mutual mortal enemies. 🙂

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