Tobogganing In A Neon

In the words of the great American actor Will Smith, “WOOO, that one puckered my butthole.”

We are almost done with college. This means that we are also almost done with college housing. This also means that we need to find a new place to live. This means that we need to get out of here to go look for places to live. We are not moving back home to live with parents or relatives…if you read here that we have, then things have seriously gone sideways.

Being almost college educated we looked at what we need for housing, what we have, and then went and made a list of places to look at. This sounds really good and smart. There was a long list of possibilities. Excellent. First thing from my perspective is to go look at the places. This way I can see more than a photo. I want to see the neighborhood. I want to see the exterior of the house. I want to get a good feel for where I may be dropping my family for the next few years. Other than houses what is around us? Is it easy to get to hospitals (always a plus), schools, and stores?

For me these scouting missions are important because they take a list a page long and narrows it down to a few. At that point I show them to the rest of the family. Still sounds college smart right? Any guesses what I forgot to do before Shannon and I hopped in the car to drive around town?

We found the first house just fine. The house was not just fine, needs some exterior work, but the location is close to schools, hospital, and shopping. The neighborhood is nice. Onto the next house. What the fuck is this construction? Fine, we’ll hit the detour after we look at a house nearby. Turn down the road to find 100 addressed houses. We need 500. Three houses later 800 addressed houses. Where did 200 to 700 addressed houses go? Drive around the neighborhood for a few minutes before leaving convinced that either a bunch of houses are missing, moved, or hiding. Their loss.

The detour takes us way out of the way and then back again, just like the hobbit only without dwarves, dragons, orcs, or the scenic view…okay, so less like the hobbit and more like a detour constructed by someone as lost as we were. Pull out the phone and at that moment realize what I did not have. Any guesses?

If you said driving route, you would be correct. If you said well planned driving route, you would be spot on.

Undaunted by this lack of direction we found the road…should I say dirt road, washed out from melting snow, heavily pitted from winter weather, and with lots of hills and turns. How bad could this be? Neons are fickle cars in the best of situations. On a road that is wet, frozen, muddy, pitted, and groved a Neon is putting trust in the machine or a deity of your choice. Should we have turned back, probably, but Mapwhatever said the house was right around the corner. That corner was after five giant hills, a washed out section of road, a frozen section of road, a ranch where we turned in to let a truck pass us by, three hills covered in ice that the car coasted up and down without any assistance from me and at every point there was a lake or pond for us to fly off the road and plunge into.

What about the house? What about it? Someone put a trailer on a hill, but not all the way on the hill. Half of the trailer hung off of one side of the hill with stilts underneath the half not on the hill. There was plenty of hill to put the whole trailer on too.

Not bad for almost college graduated people. We are working on route map. 🙂

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