500 Words At A Time: Looking Forward

500 Words has been about my time at school, but as this experiment comes to a close I am looking forward to what is next. What is next?

Move and then…

I have no clue.

Honestly.

I will have a degree.

Barb will have a degree.

Barb has a job offer.

I have a job suggestion.

I’m not at liberty to discuss my job suggestion, but a job has been suggested to me.

I have been a servant to the college experience for five years. If you’ve read 500 Words then you have an understanding of how consuming college has been for the past five years. Yes, I have had time to do things of my own, but I have not had much time that I thought or believe was my own. It’s an interesting mental position to be in-to have time to do you own thing, but not to act upon that because there is something else acting against that knowledge: I knew I had time over the past five years to write what I wanted to write, to play what I wanted to play, to do whatever plans I had in mind…and yet time and time again that thought “There is something I need to be doing” kept me from taking maximum value of that time.

I’m thinking of all of the things I’d like to do once the all consuming college monster is behind me. Mostly writing…

I want to finally move this blog to self-hosting so that I may truly write what I want to write about

I want to finish up several book ideas and partial book projects that have been started over the last five years…

such as 500 Words as a book or two, a cookbook, a revised On Volunteering, and…drum roll…a game idea that has been bouncing around in the background for way too long

Then I think about that list and I think to myself, “That’s it?” As in, after five years the best I can come up with is write…what does that say? It says my degree is a writing degree. It says that I love to write and have been waiting for the time to write.

I ponder that I should do more. Or at least I ponder that I should be doing what people do post college, you know get a job. But what job? Other than the suggested job? That’s the thing or that’s the thing to me…what to do with the next phase of life beyond…

continuing to take care of the household

take care of the children

and so on…

Maybe that is where I am at, looking forward looks a lot like where I was only with something else or many something else’s consuming my time. I wonder how much distance there will be between end of college and whatever for me to…

do what?

Yep, looking forward has become a thing for me and a thing I don’t know what to do with.

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