I Lost My Clit & Other Things I Heard

Blog traffic has gone off the rails. I understand. It is finally nice outside where we are and that is where most of my traffic comes from. If I was someone overly concerned with my blog’s stats I would be wondering what I did wrong. Instead I, like I hope most of you did, went OUTSIDE. I would show you, but I didn’t take my camera.

The sky is blue. A nice light almost baby blue. There are no clouds at least where I was. The temperature started out chilly, I was up early, and quickly turned warm and then hot. Although in the temperature’s defense I may have been wearing too much clothing…desert fatigues, T-Shirt, boots, and combat vest or as I like to refer to it, cult leader vest due to the rather prominent placement of my cult leader button.

What did I do with this wonderful day? I went out and about. Some on foot and some on car. I people observed, not watched, because honestly I could care less what most of humanity does, so I observe them casually. I listen more and did I hear some interesting things…

“Sean is pooping.”

“I’ve never sized condoms before,” said a woman to her man, “how do you do that?”

“Number one bitch chicken!”

“I’ve never liked Pinky Pie. Personally I thought she should’ve OD’d by now.”

“This sausage tastes funny.”

“Which baby is yours?” (I assume the women were being funny, but who knows)

“I lost my clit.”

“Why would anyone buy a bug zapper tennis racquet for their kitchen?”

“I will self-impose my will upon your words.” (overheard from two coffee slackers with laptops)

“This isn’t a kitchen supply store. This is an as seen on TV Kitchen store.”

“Why didn’t we buy ice-cream?”

“Its not you. Its your gender.”

[sound of breaking glass] “Nice.”

Not bad for a few hours in the sun.

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