Now With Reservoir Grease Catching Tip

“I shot that turtle in the face!” Our boy shouts with glee.

No, he is not a budding psychopath or torturer (killer) of animals. He is playing Pixel Pirates and a turtle attacked him. Call that self-defense. Why a turtle attacked him, I have no idea, I was elbow deep in jennerit in Battleborn. Suffice to say you can tell what we are doing with our day off. If you guessed, enjoying it you would be correct.

With no grill, we cannot grill. Sorry, George, but no matter how much your “grill” seals in the flavor it is not a grill, it is a counter top food flattening cooking device (ctffcd). That does not sound nearly as marketable as grill, now I get it and I thought it was because of the ridges which are not for my food’s pleasure…ha condom joke in the middle of a food thought…although if someone had thought along the lines of a condom then maybe the “grill” would have come with a reservoir tip to catch all of the grease instead of the plastic trough that isn’t suitable for catching the sweat from my brow as I put myself in a mental mindset of “one day I will have a grill and they will see the geyser of flame and smell the food miles away.”

According to the calendar summer started today. Not that I mind other than the kids have a few more days of school, which somehow translates into a week and a half of my time spent getting up early to take them to school and picking them up. I wouldn’t mind so much, except they are not going to be in school over the last week. Field trips galore. I would rather have them out early and take them on field trips of my own. Nothing wrong with field trips other than when they are wedged into the last week or so of “school” and I have to get up early everyday so they can go off and have fun? Where is my fun?

If you said grill or condom you maybe correct. I’ll let you guess which one I fill up with paint and throw at things. Science baby. Although the nice thing about them being on field trip, see I cannot even bring myself to type school anymore, is that I will have time to have lunch with friends and continue to stress out over our living situation which has not changed….wait….yep, still here. Still here with a “grill” that isn’t a grill and angry turtles.

At least the turtles our boy can deal with. Now what to do with the keyboard that continues to take a shit with each day of typing? I could buy a new one. I could post writings with missing letters and odd spacing and turn it into a game for you, “Guess what this says and win a prize.” Hint, the prize is a cookie and the missing letters or letter keys I have to punch are space bar, C, D, Y, and A so far.

Ah, I dream of different days than now.



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