Once In A Blue Moon

Never too old to learn my limits or at least to try to push my limits.

Every once in a blue moon, I need to cut loose.

Last night I cut loose. I will not bore you with the details of my cutting loose other than to say it did involve Cards Against Humanity, a game much like Apples to Apples where for me the challenge and fun is totally lost on me unless I have had a few drinks. Why a few drinks?

I am very good at reading people. Very good. Cards Against Humanity and Apples to Apples is more about reading people than the rather simplistic game play. If you can read and understand people along with a good card draw you can easily present cards that give you the win. Until I reach that “happy, I don’t give a shit” stage of drinking where I stop reading people, Cards Against Humanity is about as much fun as Minecraft to me, without the sideways thinking.

Tired of being tired and frustrated and with my usual outlets packed away or otherwise unavailable, I went for the once and a blue moon and had some “happy, I don’t give a shit” stage fun. I did not win or even come close to winning Cards Against Humanity last night. Hell, I had a hand of “What The Fuck!” cards. Cards where you know there is a perfect situation for, but that situation never materialized.

Suitably relaxed from a good night’s sleep, the plan get up and take care of some business, such as checking to see if the wasp nest was truly destroyed or stage two of operation get rid of wasps is underway (I know, I need better operation names). Unfortunately, while I woke up relaxed I also woke up with a pounding headache, bloodshot eyes, and this vague sensation that while all of my body parts were attached they may only be attached in a tangential way.

Moving and light hurt like the time I got tossed across a room and beat on by a much bigger guy after I broke his nose (for the record, I did win the fight even if a friend of mine was the one who kicked the much bigger guy in the head knocking him out-I did all the work, he just did the final twist to the pickle jar, if you will). Was it possible that I had drank too much, relaxed too far? A quick check of the bedroom revealed nothing out of the ordinary. A second, slower check, after the headache stopped abusing me, revealed nothing out of the ordinary.


Commanding my limbs and body to respond, I rolled out of bed. The floor still hard as hell, seems I misjudged where I was on the bed. Oh well, these things happen. Time to fix what I broke, which seemed to be me. Aspirin or whatever pharmacists call the pills-tablets that make headaches recede into the distance. Drink water. Tell stomach to shut up. Stand in shower hoping that my body absorbs all of the liquid nourishment it needs, for a few moments I imagine I am a plant. I wake up in the shower.


Sustenance. Thoroughly hydrated, I seek out food…oh yeah, we are moving, sort of, there is no food here. Fine. A few hours later we are eating chicken. Food tastes good and the body is under control once again. Once in a blue moon for a good reason.


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