All It Took Was Some Baby Oil and Cheat Codes

Every now and again I need to hop on my horse, ride into town and shoot some virtual people. And every now and again, I need to do that on a much larger scale. That is where Red Dead Redemption and Grand Theft Auto fall into my video game scale. Red Dead Redemption has the benefit of a great story, I should know I played through the entire game. I still hate mountain cats. Grand Theft Auto, does not. At least not since Vice City and that was the last time I owned a GTA game.

However, with stress levels hovering around maximum and no relief in sight, this was a week back, I broke down and bought GTA 5. And almost immediately loved and hated it. Open city, good music, okay graphics (better than the last GTA for sure, but not next gen to me), and a few other features, loved it. Missions that are a pain in the ass, uninteresting characters, city that isn’t as interesting to drive around as I initially thought, and an over-reactive police force, hated it.

The more I played, the more the kids played (yes I let them play), the more we got closer to taking GTA 5 back. Then cheat codes. And fun was back. Invincibility, super jumps, guns galore, helicopter all my own, motorcycle for our girl who loves racing down the highway listening to her music; funny each of us has our favorite music stations. For the kids*, they can do what they want now, which is drive cars, jump off of buildings with parachutes using a helicopter to get there. Me, I get to relieve some stress getting as many wanted stars as I can get using whatever weapons I want.

Stress reduced. I tried the story mode, while I am positive there are readers who love it, I can’t stand any of the characters. So while part of me wants to play through the story mode, because I cannot stand the characters I don’t care what the story is. Thus, my time is spent driving around listening to music and when the mood strikes hitting 5-stars, then putting GTA up for a while.

Meanwhile, I pack. Today was the kitchen. On one-hand, I am happy to be packing up the kitchen, this means I feel a move is close enough that the kitchen will not be necessary. On the other hand, my kitchen will be closing down soon. The soon part is the pain, I need to pack up most of the kitchen; as I pick up something I have to think, “Will I need this in the next two-weeks or not?” Talk about a long process, which was not helped by a box with baby oil in the bottom.

I cannot tell you why the box of garbage had baby oil, open baby oil, at the bottom. I did not make the garbage box, but I can tell you baby oil on the floor is slick. I can tell you walking the box out to the trash was messy, down to my elbow in baby oil. I can tell you throwing the box into the trash was beautiful, as the sun caught the droplets of oil arcing into the dumpster. And I can tell you after cleaning up the floor and myself I needed to play some GTA…for about 5-stars.

* Our boy enjoys driving and nothing else about GTA. Absolutely nothing else, he even obeys the traffic lights. Our girl, for those who know her, you can guess she is more like me. 🙂



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