Note from management: While Puddles and Whiskers are receiving some editing and revision love, I thought an alternative that would continue in the showing the various writing processes I go through, would be to show you some of the edits to the game system I mentioned yesterday. The samples below are from the combat section and text only, sorry images and cool layout do not transfer well to WordPress. 😦
Original: When a character attacks another creature or object they will make an Attribute Check, typically Bashing or Blasting, but some Attributes with superpowers attached to them can be used for combat. Regardless of the Attribute used the character is making a Combat Check.
Revision: A character attempting to strike a creature or object attempts a Combat Check. A combat check uses the Bashing, Blasting, or Power Attribute to determine the amount of dice rolled and any modifiers.
Check (Attribute Dice vs Action Number or Defense): Player rolls the amount of dice indicated by their character’s Attribute, comparing each die to the Defense Number of the target.
Revision: Check: The player rolls dice equal to the Bashing, Blasting, or Power Attribute. The total of each die is compared to the Defense of the target.
Result: Each die that is greater than or equal to the target’s Defense is considered a success. In general, only 1 success is needed to hit a target. The environment, power or the gamemaster can designate that more than one success is needed to hit the target. If there are successes in excess of what was needed to hit the target these Extra Successes can be used for additional damage or power effects.
Revision: Result: Each die greater than or equal to the target’s Defense is a success. Unless specified, one success is necessary to strike the target; other factors can modify the amount of successes necessary your GM will inform you before making the check. Extra successes may be used to increase damage, strike a specific location on the target, or other special effects.
Example: Fast Kick Tommy has drawn his pistol and is attempting to shoot at a thug across the bar. Fast Kick Tommy’s Shooting Attribute is 4. Derek, the player, rolls the four dice getting 7, 7, 6 and 2. The gamemaster tells Derek that the thug’s Defense is 7. Fast Kick Tommy scores two success with the two 7s.
Revision: Example: Fast Kick Tommy is attempting to shot a thug on the other side of the bar. Fast Kick Tommy’s Shooting Attribute is 4. The player rolls four ten-sided dice: 7, 7, 6, and 2. The GM informs the player the thug’s Defense is 7. Comparing the player dice to the Defense, Fast Kick Tommy scored two successes; the 7s. One 7 is enough to strike the thug, the second 7 can be used to increase damage or another effect.
At the moment, the initial editing pass is like that, mostly revision to language to clear concepts up or remove extraneous words. Crossing fingers the rest is as smooth and I can have the editing and revisions finished by the end of next month.