A day to myself.
Plans to write.
Plans to paint.
Plans to write some more.
The clock keeps counting down to time to pick up the kids.
Picking up the kids means distractions until they go to bed.
I don’t mind the distractions…except when I had plans to write.
Except I cannot lay the blame for not writing at any exterior distractions. Only on me.
The words are there, but they are not cooperating. Pen to paper results in a few words and a lot of doodles. Then a call to find something else to do…
Check the mail done.
Check the news done.
And the words come screaming back only to thwart themselves or me, depending upon your point of view, by refusing to set down on the screen or paper. A sentence leads to staring at the screen.
I have three open documents and have opened and closed a dozen more. Each open leads to a close within minutes despite my intentions.
I have four pens on my desk, arranged in a fan shape. The blue clicky-top in the middle, the odd pen out. Someone must have left it within my reach and being the writer, I collected the pen into my writing pens. And none of them want to write. Other than chewing on the ends pens have one purpose, to write, and mine say “no writing out of us today.”
Like a magic 8-ball only in ink.
Three stacks of stapled papers sit on the table and on the floor. Each one a different story I am working on; edits, revisions, questions, and story lines. Each one has been picked up two or three times.
Pen to paper.
A word or two.
Pen to table.
Stack of paper moved to another spot on the table, disturbing the dust or covering my goblin writing buddy. Who stares back accusingly, “You should be writing, but you can’t.”
Laying there next to the writing, my goblin writing buddy, crafted by Barb for my birthday has been there for all writing since then, watching over me, the pens, the papers, and the words.
Today, he too is taking a break.
I want to flip him over so his pink red eyes are not accusing me of not doing my job. I cannot. Not his fault the…whatever is not flowing today. Not going to take out my frustrations on those not responsible.
Funny thing, here I am writing. The free flow of words and ideas about how I have not been able to write or work on writing all day. Nothing goes to plan, it seems. Perhaps goblin writing buddy is doing his job after all. Perhaps returning to a mandatory post a day is having the effect I hoped of keeping me writing even when I am not writing what I planned on writing.
Time for me to wrap this up. Maybe, when I get home with the kids the plan will unfold. 🙂