Mother’s Day Rant

I guess I should start with Happy Mother’s Day.

I am not a fan of holiday’s like Mother’s Day, not because in theory I am a Father and have to wait for Father’s Day, but it seems hollow to me to have to have one day to remind people to do something nice for their Mother. Then, again I am not really one to speak. Shrug.

The kids are watching My Little Pony, some sort of marathon before something. What that something is I have no clue and I don’t think they do either. If the sun was behind clouds, rain, thunder and lightning, or any of one hundred other reasons why they couldn’t go outside I would be fine with them spending the day in front of the TV. I want them to go outside and play. However, after taking a Frisbee to the mouth yesterday, I can understand why our girl wants to My Little Pony and chill.

Barb is at work. I think that is my issue with holiday’s like Mother’s Day, if the day really is to celebrate/honor/acknowledge (although acknowledge is pretty low on the list of honorifics; “Hey, you’re a mother”) then why not have the day off? Make holidays like Mother’s Day a specific Sunday in a month, make sure to have tons of commercials (not that we watch TV anymore, I assume there are commercials) of people visiting their mother for a family dinner. Shitcan the cards, flowers, and stupid shit, go full bore holiday, like Thanksgiving. Images of families gathered around generations of mothers celebrating that they took the time to give birth to them and raise them to the best of their abilities given their circumstances.

That right there! The difference between platitude and honest celebration. Mother’s Day and holidays like them are platitudes a literal “Oh shit we should say something nice to our mom’s” by some politician somewhere. Maybe there was an honest intention behind the idea, but now…what do we have? Cards, flowers, chocolates, and kids making gifts at school. Maybe if the mother is lucky, dinner with immediate family.

WHAT THE FUCK!

Keep in mind that I am not close to my family. I’m not. I admit it. But I can acknowledge this situation because I can see it from a different perspective than I had before, as a parent.

Let me put it this way, if Mother’s Day was the holiday it SHOULD be I would not have had to force my children to do nice things for Barb. Now the nice things were cleaning related (thus the resistance), but still if Mother’s Day was promoted the way I envision the children would be properly indoctrinated via school, TV, and society that one this one day a year they do for their mother without question without hesitation and with all of the love I know they have for her. We as a family spend the day doing for her in the same way we do for Thanksgiving…I’m not talking stuff, cook, carve, and eat her (although…there is some innuendo in that)…but…take for example Thanksgiving; for weeks before Thanksgiving the message is

FAMILY

FOOD

BLACK FRIDAY SALES

SHOPPING

MORE SHOPPING

BE THANKFUL

SHOP SOME MORE BECAUSE THE NATION’S RETAILERS NEED YOUR MONEY

In spite of the nauseating plea by retailers, the message of family gathering to give thanks to a reasonably stupid bird has maintained both in practice and imagery. So with that in mind why can’t the same thing be done for Mother’s Day and holidays like that?

Two weeks before the day, get the commercials rolling of family gathered around mom over a home cooked meal, not a turkey or ham because they are spoken for holiday wise. Jack up the emotional appeal with images of soldiers returning home in time to celebrate time with mom and a home cooked meal (NOT cooked by mom unless everyone else in the house is unable to cook and that is another post altogether-someone other than mom learn to cook!). Food TV could do endless specials about cooking special meals for mom. Retailers could go NUTS with more than cards and flowers, full on Mother’s Day specials nationwide. Barb would rather have yarn or a power tool than a card for damn sure.

Black and Decker is proud to announce our 4th annual Mother’s Day Tool Time Special. Buy the woman who gave you birth and raised you the best in powered tools. (images of chainsaws ripping cards apart, arc welders melting chocolate, and a final image of a gigantic metallic flower arrangement made with…you guessed it Black and Decker power tools. I’m feeling the love are you?)

And to top it all off, because we are a money grubbing retail sale oriented society have an AFTER Mother’s Day (insert some color associated with moms or assign one) SALE!

This is the kind of stuff I’d do if I was President…I mean in addition to ruling the world. 🙂

Happy Mother’s Day.

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