“I believe that every human has a finite amount of heartbeats. I don’t intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.”
Screw you exercise bike!
Fine, I may still be an overweight writer, but I am up to a solid 10 minutes at 3o mph on setting 3, which means absolutely nothing to anyone other than I have gotten myself up to 10 minutes of riding before my hips, legs, knees, lungs, and mind say “fuck it! You aren’t going anywhere.”
Yes I am. I am on the road to living longer and taking up less space. Soon enough my stomach and I will arrive at the same time and that is progress to me. I like progress. Progress is like making a list and crossing things off of it, I feel better. I did something and I can point to that for others to say, “Why you are productive.” Which always sounds better in the original Klingon.
-Klingon you continue to let me down with the number of functional words that are borrowed from English, no wonder Klingons are a second tier bad guy 😦
Linguistics aside, what has happened since my last post? Well if this was a conversation I would immediately turn the table on you with a rather clever, “What have you been up to? Really, that is interesting tell me more.” And with that not have to respond about me for a while, but this is not a conversation this is a DICTATIONSHIP!
A dictationship is, I write, you read. Simple as that. One of the best kinds of ships or isms. Why? Because at any moment you can say to yourself or monitor (whom or whatever you have the best relationship with), “This is shitte! I no longer have to tolerate his tyranny of words. His oppressive mangling of the language. As a free person, I click off. That’s right sir, good day. I said good day, SIR!”
Why good day, because manner count for a lot. Please and thank you carry a lot of weight with me, as do thank you cards post coitus for the mundane/good/average/great/awesome/stupendous/horrible/I was drunk (please circle your choice) time I had. Hey, that is a good idea, post coitus comment/thank you cards.
Something like this:
Thank you (please circle one) Madame or Sir,
I had a (please circle one)mundane/good/average/great/awesome/stupendous/horrible/I was dunk time with you last night. In the interest in improving the sex lives of everyone involved, current and future, I offer the following data for you to peruse.
Please circle a number with 0 being, “please read a book and stop watching porn” and 10 being, “the best anyone could have.”
Stamina 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Creativity 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Thoughtfulness 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
As a concise, would I have sex with you again (please circle one), Yes No
Please put additional constructive comments in the space below, use the back if necessary. ___________________________
I think the world or at least sexually uptight regions of the world [cough] [cough] parts of this country (whole damn thing, be honest).
Which brings me to my next point, I had no plan to write any of that, I was going to tell (dictationship) or inform you (polite conversation) that I have begun work on the second Puddles and Whiskers story arc. I have also started the process of turning the first story arc and some of the side stories into an actual book. Don’t get too excited, this, for me, is going to be a long process as I am doing it on my own and I want to get it right. That being said, everything is in progress. 🙂
I would love to tell your more, such as this is the third week of our kids school and they have yet to have a full week of school. No, I have not taken them out of school for trips for ice cream or anything fun, nor doctors appointments. The fucking school system, in their infinite “wisdom” scheduled the first week to end on holiday. The second week to start on a holiday and the third week to end on a half day. WTF?!
How are the kids or parents supposed to develop the necessary rhythm for success? Not for three weeks at least. Even better they just started actual school work middle of week 2. I weep for our educational system.
To recap, another week has come and gone with no regular rhythm in sight for a while. I am working on long term plans to publish Puddles and Whiskers. And most importantly I have provided a rough draft of a sexual feedback card to begin the process of making sex better for all of us one person at a time. Of course there will be bumps (humps? HA!) in the road before the sexual feedback card is right for everyone, but for this you can be assured there will be NO standardized testing! You are going to have to actually learn the material and perform the material. Get to work people.
“If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.”