“It shocks me how I wish for…what is lost and cannot come back.”
-Sue Monk Kidd
I found a Cheerio on the floor and ate it.
I miss floor Cheerios, from time to time, not that I am thinking about having the kids wander around the house dropping Cheerios on the floor for me to find and eat, although there is something to be said about finding a fresh floor Cheerio because no matter what you say to me I refuse to eat Cheerios any other way, if I wanted flavorless ovals I could resume eating rice cakes, something I did once on a dare and to this day that is the one dare I regret and I have done some stupid shit on dares or just for the hell of it, one day, maybe I will realize that I am indeed older and the invulnerability of youth no longer applies to me, until then I will continue to miss my floor Cheerios.
“Do you know what breakfast cereal is made of? It’s made of all those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners!”
Of course it is possible I am slightly invulnerable, you know immune to harm from small things like dust and the like-if you don’t think dust can kill you I present to you the case of my uncle who died from an over exposure to dust, on its own a single mote of dust is nothing, but when they gather together like a hippie drum circle they can be deadly, I’d ask you to ask my uncle, but he is dead and mostly likely turned to dust-irony-oh well, I may be slightly invulnerable due my constant exposure to glow in the dark stuff.
It is a wonder and a part-time, only when the lights are out, moment of sadness to me that I do not or at least parts of me do not glow in the dark. Now that would be an awesome super power for me, glow in the dark. Combine that with the Natehood of Traveling Pants and you have a heart warming tale of someone who stole my pants, had great times, chased by another person who glowed in the dark. I’m thinking the love child of a Lifetime Movie, ScyFy Channel, and Late Night Cinemax: Travel, Romance, Glow in the Dark Organs, Adventure, and Plenty of Night Fights. Starring Brad Pitt, Anthony Bourdain, and Matthew McCaughey.
Oh well I dream of better days, like the time when I have enough money to buy things I don’t need or want just to right a wrong or point out a social injustice or in the case of McDonalds to burn to the ground to create the world’s largest grease fire. But what could replace McDonalds? I wonder how people would feel about a place named Floor Cheerios. Of course I would have to buy Cheerios so I don’t have to pay for royalties or deal with any stupid lawsuits. I know, how many people will want to eat Cheerios off a floor, no matter how clean or cool the floor is? I am willing to bet a lot of parents.
And if Floor Cheerios glowed in the dark-both the place and the Cheerios themselves-I could get all of the ravers, lovers of glow in the dark, cereals on the floor, and well the possibilities are limitless especially if I could add Blue Tooth to the mix, because who doesn’t love Blue Tooth…that’s right the same people who don’t like monkeys and those people are fuckers and NOT welcome to
We Drop It, You Eat IT…
“Luck is not a business model.”