Nail Clippers, Pages 25 & 26

Remember how I said, way back when I started this, that I felt the whole story went off the rails and then I gave up? Sure you do, if you don’t it’s in writing. Here is where the wheels really began to wobble. See, I like Old Man Jenkins. I like him as a serial killer of sorts. However, I like him not as a serial killer of sorts. When I wrote this I wasn’t ready to make a decision, he kept being loveable and creepy. So I extended the story by adding new characters, in fact here are two now, a police officer and a reporter…see where this is going? Good, cuz I hope to get there. Enjoy. 🙂

Previously.

“Awesome game Banks,” Officer Coughlin said as he walked past Chloe Banks standing at the bar.

“Thanks,” Detective Chloe Banks said over her shoulder, “Bobby another round for the team.”

Already celebrating their victory over division rivals, the bar erupted in cheers.

****

“Silverberg!”

Running his hands over his unshaven face, he wondered what he had done this time. Standing outside the editor’s office, Jacob ran a hand through his thinning hair and straightened out his suit jacket. He tried to put on his best smile, but the best he could muster was his “not so downtrodden” expression.

“Shut the door!” Editor in Chief Ramsey yelled.

Jacob shut the door and sat down with a thud in front of Ramsey’s desk. Even though Jacob barely respected his boss, he always admired how clean and organized the man’s desk and office was. Jacob’s desk was a mess from top to bottom.

Ramsey held Jacob’s latest story between his thumb and index finger waving it in Jacob’s direction, “Do you read what you write before you send it to me or do you write it 15 minutes before deadline and hope that nobody notices?”

****

Parking in front of their garage, Jax checked the clock on dashboard. He looked over at Jetta who was looking back at him.

“One hell of a night,” he said, putting the car in park.

“Sure was.”

Later, lying in bed, Jetta rolled onto her side to face Jax finishing another book on crossbreeding roses, “What do you think about having Mandy over for dinner this weekend?”

He turned the page, put his finger between the pages, and set the book on his lap before responding. “Sounds like a great idea to me. We could use the grill.”

“I’ll call her and see if she has the time. How is the book?”

“This might be the ticket,” Jax said holding the book up, “I’m taking plenty of notes.”

A stack of Post-It-Notes sat on the nightstand. Jetta loved his note taking, she found some of his notes stuck to walls, clothing, or in other random places all of the time. Each time he responded the same way, “I had an idea.”

Rolling over she said, “Don’t stay up too late.”

****

Jenkins checked the kitchen clock, eleven fifty-nine flashed twice before noon flashed. Anytime now, Jenkins thought. Barbossa hopped onto the kitchen table.

“Meow,” she said sniffing around the table, doing her best to not look interested in the plate with two strips of bacon.

“Go ahead,” Jenkins said.

Barbossa sniffed the plate, snatched a piece of bacon, and hopped to the floor with her prize. Barbossa stopped eating, ears up. Jenkins looked outside, a Mayer’s delivery truck pulled into the driveway at that moment.

“Your ears are much better than mine,” he said, tossing the last piece of bacon to her.

Half an hour later Jenkins threw open the doors to the tornado shelter. The deliverymen had been nice enough to bring the boxes to the tornado shelter. Carrying the first box, he descended into the shelter, the musty odor overpowering. Jenkins set the box down and fumbled for the string to turn on the light. With a tug, the light illuminated the shelter, dirt walls and floor with vines sticking out of the walls here and there. Lots of potential and work, Jenkins thought as he headed up the steps to get the rest of the boxes.

“Meow. Meow,” Barbossa said rubbing up against Jenkins leg.

He looked down at Barbossa, “Go play.”

“Meow. Meow,” Barbossa said with a tone Jenkins recognized as hunger.

At that thought, Jenkins’ stomach rumbled loudly. Odd, how long had he been working, he thought as he looked to the tornado shelter entrance and saw night sky. He looked around the shelter; boxes and packing material lay in a pile in the center of the room. A wooden table and pegboard were against the back wall. A variety of hammers, saws, and other tools hung from hooks in the pegboard. Several blue storage tubs sat in the corner next to the table. Next to the tubs a large wooden frame stood. Where Jenkins stood, pieces for a larger table lay in a pile. On top of the pile were two table legs attached to the tabletop. Time flies, Jenkins thought.

“I’m sorry,” he said to Barbossa, “I did not realize how long I had been working. Let’s get some food.”

Nail Clippers, Pages 21-24

Previously.

I was tempted to split this into two scenes, but no matter where I choose it didn’t read right, so here is one long and fun scene especially if you know the music. Enjoy. 🙂

****

Jax and Jetta stood at the back of the parking lot admiring the decor; neon pink lights from every corner of the building provided enough light that they had no trouble navigating between the parked cars to get to the front of the club. Bass thumped from everywhere, a testament to the sound system, thin walls or both. A neon pink sign adorned with headshots of the main acts blocked their path to the front door.

“I don’t see Mandy,” Jax said pointing at the sign.

“It is her third night,” Jetta replied, walking around the sign.

Other than the neon pink edging lights the building was featureless from the parking lot to the front. The front however, a testament to neon, pink, and cats. “Pussy House Rules” in cursive neon pink lights adorned both sides of the pink leather looking front door. Next to the front door, a cartoon image of a female cat wearing pasties over her ample breasts and a thong waved a greeting. Standing in front of the door, a very imposing man wearing a black suit with neon pink accents. He did not look pleased.

Holding up his hand to Jax and Jetta, “ID’s please.”

They handed over their driver’s licenses, which he peered at, then at them, before handing the licenses back.

“Pussy House Rules welcomes you. Please take time to read the rules of the house at coat check,” he said in a monotone as he held open the door for them. The bass from the club music threatened to knock all three of them over.

“Is this where neon goes to die?” Jax asked.

He could not stop staring at the neon lights; neon pink or light purple lights bordered everything-mirrors, tables, chairs, the stages, the walls, and Jax feared if he stood there long enough he would get covered in neon. The neon gave everything a pink haze making it hard to distinguish colors.

“What?” Jetta shouted.

She could not stop staring at the stage; two women gyrated to a song she did not know, moving their hips, tits, and arms in beat with the music and the crowd of men in front of the stage ate up every move. When one of the women squatted in front of a group of men and began gyrating, money seem to explode out of the pack of men.

“The lights,” Jax shouted back pointing at the club, “Oh…” his sentence drifting off as he noticed the stage.

“Let’s get a seat,” Jetta said heading into the club.

“HEY!” a woman wearing a pink furry bra standing behind a counter shouted at them, “Coat check is five dollars!”

“We don’t have coats,” Jetta responded, walking over to the woman.

“Everyone has a coat,” the woman responded as she pointed at sign next to her counter.

A floor to ceiling sign announcing to everyone the “Rules of the Pussy House.”

  1. All patrons have a coat.
  2. All patrons must have a drink in front of them at all times.
  3. Patrons will not touch the dancers.
  4. Patrons will not get on stage.
  5. Patrons will be respectful of the women at all times.
  6. Failure to follow the rules will may result in harm to the patron.
  7. Pussy House Rules management is not responsible to any harm done to a patron because the patron did not follow the rules.

Jax handed over ten dollars to the woman.

“Thank you and have a good time,” she responded with a wink.

Jetta grabbed Jax by the arm and headed back into the club. They took notice of the three stages, one center stage where the two women continued to gyrate and two smaller stages to either side of the center stage, both were empty. On the far side of the room, a bar and DJ booth. The closest seating to the stage consisted of small two-person tables and as many chairs as could be packed into the tight space. The men nearest to the stage grabbed the closest chair when they needed to sit down. Drinks and empty glasses covered all of the tables. A main thoroughfare separated the stage seating and the next group of tables and chairs, arranged for small groups and couples. A smaller thoroughfare separated the middle section of seating for booths arranged against the back wall. A pink curtain covered entrance near the bar indicated where the private room was located.

The cartoon female cat adorned every available surface; walls, tabletops, glasses, napkins, stage curtains, and even on the seat cushions. Jetta noticed the outfits before Jax. Nudging him in the ribs to get his attention away from the dancer on stage, she nodded to a passing waitress. All of the waitresses had the same costume, furry pink cat ears, furry pink bra, furry pink thong, and furry pink cat tail.

Jetta sat down in a booth with a good view of center stage. Jax stood.

“Not tonight baby,” Jetta pleaded, “just this one time sit in a booth.”

“You know how I feel about booths.”

Jetta rolled her eyes, “I think everyone know how you feel about booths. Would you rather sit at one of the tables over there?” pointing towards some empty tables away from the stage.

Jax looked over his shoulder at the seating, and then moved out of the way of the cat waitress passing by.

“Fine, just this one time, but if we need to escape and cannot because we are trapped in a booth, I hold you responsible,” he said in one breath.

“Let’s hope that doesn’t happen,” Jetta said patting a space next to her and rolling her eyes.

Less than a minute later, a cat waitress appeared and took their order, Cokes for now, and returned less than a minute after that with two small glasses with watered down Coke.

“Seriously, seven dollars for this?” he complained.

“When she comes back, order us some beers, at least we will get drunk enough to forget about the cost,” Jetta responded.

The two dancers finally left the stage and for the first time since they arrived, the club was quiet. The stage lights dimmed and over the speakers “Jason” said in a woman’s voice followed by the opening notes of Talk Dirty To Me and the stage lights came up as Mandy strutted onto center stage wearing devil horns, a red reflective bra, red reflective g-string, devil tail, and carrying a pitchfork.

“…get jazzy…” heavy bass and she dropped into splits and popped back up to gyrate to the horns section. The men in front of the stage went crazy. In time with the music, she pointed to the men with the pitchfork and then Mandy grabbed the poll and swung around lowering herself to the stage.

“Uno, friend in Rio…” Mandy bent over in front of the men, squatting in front of them and gyrating her hips, before popping up to go around the poll again. When the horns section started up again she was extending a leg over the men and dropping down to let them stuff money into her g-string.

And just as suddenly, the music changed as Talk Dirty To Me ended, the DJ faded Marilyn Manson’s Sweet Dreams in so that by the time the audience had noticed the shift in music Mandy was dancing-acting out the lyrics “Some of them want to be abused,” when the first bass note hit, she flung her top off.

Mandy used the slow and fast pace of the song to collect money, dance, show off, and collect more money. Jax and Jetta could not take their eyes off her performance. Before the last note of her last song ended, Mandy had strutted off stage, her g-string stuffed with money and a new dancer was on stage.

A few minutes later, the waitress dropped off two more beers when Mandy sat down next to Jetta.

“What did you think?” Mandy shouted, grabbing Jetta’s hand and stood up, “Come on. Let’s go talk some place quieter.”

Jetta grabbed Jax pulling him out of the booth as the three of them headed behind the private room curtain. The private room was no different from the rest of the club-neon, pink, and the club’s cat on every surface. Banks of pink couches lined all of the walls with just enough space between banks to give the illusion that each bank was a separate space. On either end of the room were dancing polls. Other than the three of them, the room was empty.

“Where did you learn to dance like that?” Jetta asked as she sat down on a couch against the backwall.

“You liked that?” Mandy replied remaining standing.

“You were hot as hell,” Jax said sitting down next to Jetta. Immediately giving her his best “well she was” look.

“You were pretty hot,” Jetta agreed.

Mandy slowly danced in front of them to the music in the club, “I’ve been dancing on and off for a while,” when she saw their expressions, “No, not club dancing, just dancing. That’s all that was, dancing.”

“It looked..,” Jax struggled to find the right word.

“Hot. You looked sexy and like you were having fun,” Jetta finished.

“It’s more fun than I thought,” Mandy replied.

“Sit down and talk,” Jetta said patting an empty seat next to her.

“I can’t. If I am in here I have to be dancing,” Mandy said while dancing in front of Jetta, “I could get fired if Vincento walks in and I am not dancing.”

“I guess you should dance then,” Jax said with a smile, “Wanna a lap dance?” he asked Jetta.

Mandy stepped in front of Jetta, placed her hands on Jetta’s knees and pushed her legs apart, and stepped into the space. Moving with the music, Mandy slow danced in front of Jetta, her eyes always on Jetta’s eyes. She ran her hands over her body and used that motion to straddle Jetta’s leg, gyrating against her thigh while pressing her tits against Jetta. Jetta responded by grabbing ahold of Mandy’s ass, which earned her hands a slap and a waggled finger with a huge smile from Mandy as she danced off Jetta’s thigh and pointed at the Rules of the House sign in the room with a smile.

Nail Clippers, Pages 19 & 20

Right around here is where I started making a decision on who Jenkins would become…unfortunately, right after this things get muddled. Hopefully, things get unmuddled and Jenkins chooses a direction. 🙂

Previously.

Old Man Jenkins hated Mayer’s. Unfortunately, there were only two big box stores in town and he refused to shop at AwlMarts, which left Mayer’s where it seemed everyone came at the same time he did. Jenkins walked from the back of the parking lot into Mayer’s picking up a shopping cart along the way.

“Good afternoon,” the cherubic and overly friendly greeter belted out at anyone walking in.

Putting on his best, “I am happy to be here smile,” Jenkins pushed the cart past her. Walking back to the Storage Solutions aisle Jenkins envied Barbossa who was most likely sound asleep on his bed. Another cart crashing into his cart shook Jenkins out of his envious mood.

“Hey, don’t I know you?” Jax asked, as he pulled his cart out of the collision.

Jenkins moved his own cart back and looked up at the man, where did he know him? A wide smile crept across his face as he remembered where he saw this man before.

“You were at the hardware store talking to my wife?” Jax asked.

“That’s right. I had hard wood,” Jenkins laughed thinking about the wood in his cart at the time and the memory of Jax’s wood under the towel.

Jax laughed, “Funny crashing into you here. What are you shopping for?”

Jenkins pointed to the storage solutions, “I have some things I need to store soon.”

“That’s cool. I’m here for more planting supplies,” Jax said indicating the contents of his cart with a wave of his hand, “Well, I need to get home before Jetta returns from lunch.”

“Nice seeing you again,” Jenkins said, “By the way, my name is Jenkins.”

Jax shook Jenkins’s hand, “My name is Jax and my missing better half is Jetta. I’m sure we will bump into each other again.”

A short while later Jenkins loaded the large blue storage containers into his car. Patting down his pants for his keys, he pulled out the delivery receipt for the truck and cabinets, tomorrow around noon. Jenkins looked up feeling the sun on his face, things were definitely moving in the right direction.

****

“Seriously?” Jax asked Jetta.

“Yes,” Jetta replied hand on hip trying her best not to start laughing at the kid in a candy store look on Jax’s face, “we are going to the titty bar tonight.”

“I better get some singles,” Jax said and started laughing, “Which titty bar are we going to?”

“Pussy House Rules.”

Nail Clippers, Pages 17 & 18

Sick kid today, so an interruption to the normal posting of Puddles and Whiskers.

Previously.

****

Grabbing his car keys from a bowl next to the front door, Jenkins opened the front door and walked into Patience.

“What the..,” he said angrily.

“Good Lord,” Patience said taking a step back.

“Who are you?”

Patience straightened herself out and straightened her back, putting her best face forward.

“How fortunate that we bumped into each other,” Patience said.

“Are you serious?” Jenkins retorted while attempting to walk past her.

“Yes, I am sir. Do you have a few minutes to talk about your salvation?” Patience continued, as if he had not said word and blocking his move around her.

Jenkins held out his keys, “Actually, I do not. I am headed out for the day.”

“Perhaps, I could return later when you have time,” Patience said.

“You know what?” Jenkins said fists balled, “I’m busy for the next few days, but if you come back early next week we can do lunch and you can tell me about salvation.”

A giant smile blossomed on Patience’s face; unconsciously she made the sign of the cross. She opened up her large bag and pulled out a date book. Flipping a few pages, she looked up at Jenkins.

“I can be back Monday or Tuesday,” she replied hopefully.

“You pick one,” Jenkins said walking past her to his car.

“Thank you sir. I will see you next week,” Patience said as Jenkins turned on his car.

He waved to her and drove off; totally forgetting about her by the time he reached Mayer’s, the local big box store.

****

“You got fired for what?” Jetta asked Mandy.

The loud music made talking more of a shouting match, but Drumsticks was their go to lunch destination. Never had chicken drumsticks and musical drumsticks been put together like they had in Drumsticks and hopefully they never would again, Jetta thought every time she came here. The music, whatever was currently trendy, blared from speakers everywhere and if that was not enough noise, numerous televisions competed with the music.

“You did what with the cones?” Jetta asked, unsure of what Mandy had said.

“I said I got fired for boning the manager over a box of cones.”

“Why did you bone the manager?” Jetta asked around laughs.

“He was cute,” Mandy replied smiling devilishly.

The voluptuous waitress delivered their baskets of drumsticks and fries, walking away before Jetta or Mandy could ask for refills. They gave each other the “what can you expect” shrug.

“What are you going to do for a job?” Jetta asked, pointing at Mandy with a drumstick.

“I already got one,” she replied.

“You did? That’s great,” Jetta gushed, “Where at?”

“At Pussy House Rules,” Mandy replied.

“The titty bar outside of town?”

“Don’t judge,” Mandy admonished, “You know I like to dance. So why not make some money while dancing?”

“But…”

“But nothing, I need a job and its good money,” Mandy interrupted.

“How do you know its good money?” Jetta asked, seeking a hole in Mandy’s argument and choice of job.

“How do you think I can afford lunch? Other than the cute manager, Dairy Youse paid for shit.”

“You’ve already danced?”

“Pick your jaw off the table. Two nights in a row and I dance tonight. You should come visit,” Mandy said, “Bring Jax he’ll have a great time.”

“I’m sure he will. I’ll think about it,” Jetta said pondering for a moment, “What time do you start?”

“Show up around 9. I’ll leave your names with the door guy.”

Jetta pushed her tray with the remains of a drumstick and cup with one last drink left in the bottom to the middle of the table as she leaned back into the booth.

“Aren’t you going to finish that?” Mandy said gesturing to the food.

“You know I always leave one bite and I never finish a drink,” Jetta responded while checking her phone for messages.

Shaking her head Mandy said, “What the fuck is that about?”

Jetta shrugged and put her phone away.

Nail Clippers, Pages 15 & 16

Previously.

Standing on his front porch Jenkins watched red-faced EMS personnel load Devin and Chaz into the back of the ambulance. As soon as the EMS personnel had entered the kitchen both of them started to laugh and tried contained their laughter. The longer they worked on Devin the more red-faced they got and muffled snorts came from both of them. Jenkins did not blame them, if not for the meat he had to clean off the wall, he would have been laughing with them.

Thinking of the meat mess infuriated Jenkins. The silver lining, Devin, at least, would be gone for a few days and when he returned, Jenkins had a talk prepared for him. The ambulance roared off and Jenkins went back to his kitchen, shaking his head the entire time he scrapped the meat off the wall. Barbossa stayed out of sight, she knew her master well enough to avoid his moods.

“Come on Barbossa. We have work to do,” Jenkins called out as he picked up the bags and headed for the tornado shelter.

“Meow,” from Barbossa as she ran out the backdoor.

Barbossa waited patiently as Jenkins lifted the large wooden door open and dropped the door to the side. As soon as the door was open enough for her to fit, Barbossa darted into the shelter. Before gathering up the bags, Jenkins watched the sun begin to set. The setting sun provided enough light for him to walk down the worn wooden steps into the shelter and find the light.

Moving around the small room Jenkins made note of the roots to remove and additional supplies necessary to finish his project. Smacking himself on the head for not thinking to get some freestanding shelves or a trunk first, Jenkins moved the bags to a far corner instead of unpacking them. Bored, Barbossa followed Jenkins as he made one last tour of the room.

****

“Are you making the drinks by hand?” Jax shouted as he entered the back of the house.

A white towel hit him square in the face.

“What,” he mumbled from beneath the towel.

Tossing the towel onto a nearby table, Jetta stood in the doorway of the kitchen wearing her favorite hat, a Cheshire grin, and nothing else. Her skin glistened and she had one hand behind her back.

“Whatcha got behind your back?” Jax asked taking in his wife’s body.

“Nothing,” she said demurely.

Click! Followed by buzzing sound that filled the room. Jetta’s arm behind her back shook; her grin got larger and her eyes lit up.

“Did it come?” Jax asked.

“I did, twice,” Jetta replied holding aloft a large red vibrator.

Winking, she turned and ran for their bedroom, Jax hot on her heels. She jumped onto the bed scrabbling for the other side when Jax caught her by the ankle; dragging her laughing over to him. He took the vibrator out of her hand, the powerful vibrations shot up his arm.

“Damn,” he said while applying the rounded head to her swollen vulva.

Jetta sucked a breath and gasped as the vibrator did its work on her crotch. Powerful vibrations tingled her clit, her pussy, and her ass. She tried to squirm away, but Jax held onto her ankle and continued to press the vibrator home.

“Enough, enough,” Jetta panted, “It’s too much.”

“Too much you say,” Jax said as he tossed the vibrator onto the pillows where it rolled down onto the bed, vibrations shaking the bed.

He undid his pants with his free hand, his erect cock sprung forth as his pants hit the floor. Grabbing her other ankle Jax pulled her to him impaling her with his cock. Putting her legs on his shoulders Jax thrust deep into Jetta. She used her legs to pull herself tighter against him. The vibrator continued to roll over the bed.

“I love the feel of your cock,” Jetta said between grunts, groans, and moans.

“I love your pussy,” Jax grunted.

A few minutes later laying together on the bed, Jetta turned off the vibrator.

“This is a keeper,” Jetta said with a smile.

“Add it to the trunk,” Jax replied.

A phone rang as they lay together enjoying post sex bliss. Neither of them moved from the bed for the first two rings, on the third Jetta rolled off the bed, Jax grasping after her, and picked up her phone from the nightstand.

“Hello? Hey Mandy.”

Jax woke up when Jetta shook him; he had fallen asleep during the call. As he rolled over, she tossed her phone on the bed and picked up the big red one. Jax watched as she opened their toy chest at the end of the bed. She lifted out the top tray of flavored lubes and set it on the bed. While she made room in the toy chest for the big red one, Jax taste tested their flavored lubes.

Coughing, Jax asked, “Do we have to keep the bacon flavored lube?”

“That bad?” she responded.

“Haven’t you tasted it?”

“No, flavored lube is more of a you thing,” Jetta responded while putting the top tray back, “I prefer au natural,” she finished with a wink.

Rolling off the bed, Jax put on his pants, “Hey, what did Mandy want?”

“Lunch tomorrow she has a new job.”

“Another job? What happened to working at that ice cream place?”

“I’ll find out over lunch.”

Nail Clippers, Pages 9 & 10

Previously.

“Oh my god,” Jetta moaned.

Jax continued thrusting his fingers into her pussy and licking her clit as her hips jerked and twitched. Orgasm contractions gripped his fingers tightly. He loved knowing he gave her pleasure.

“Enough. Enough,” she said scooting back from his fingers and tongue.

He stood up next to the bed as she sat up. Jetta leaned towards Jax, as he started to get onto the bed; planting a kiss on his lips, she tasted herself. Grabbing his hard cock, “This,” shaking his cock, “will have to wait until we get back from the hardware store.”

“But, babe.”

“We need to get going,” Jetta said sliding off the bed.

Two hours later and Jetta was ready to go back home and hide under the covers. Next time she promised herself, blow him before going to the hardware store; a solid hour of non-stop puns and jokes.

“Babe. Babe,” Jax shouted from the other end of the aisle, “look, I got HARD wood.”

She looked knowing what she would see…and, yes, he was holding up another plank of wood. Jetta shook her head in silent laughter. A quick trip to pick up supplies for the summer and the deck, that was the plan, unfortunately, for her, Jax was in a mood. She turned to shout at him, but he disappeared again, like a kid in a candy store.

Jetta heard a cart with squeaky wheels approaching, she whirled ready for another of Jax’s puns and to give him a small piece of her mind. The old man pushing the cart stopped, a shocked look flashed across his face. The heat of embarrassment washed over Jetta’s face.

“Sorry,” she mumbled, “I thought you were someone else.”

“I am glad I am not that person,” Old Man Jenkins replied.

“Really, I am sorry. It’s been a long shopping trip.”

“What are you here for?” Jenkins asked.

“Summer outdoor supplies and some stuff to fix the deck. What are you here for?”

Jenkins hesitated for a moment, pretending to clean off his glasses, “Um…I have a special project. I..uh…am finishing up my basement. Making the room I have always wanted,” he said in a rush.

“That sounds interesting,” Jetta replied.

“Wanna screw,” Jax said from behind her holding the largest screw she had ever seen in front of her face.

Old Man Jenkins laughed. His laughing got Jetta to laugh. Jetta grabbed the screw out of his hand and looked over her shoulder at Jax with her best, “not right now look.” Jax smiled like nothing had happened.

“He thought it was funny,” Jax said of Jenkins who was still laughing.

“This is my better half, Jax,” Jetta said.

“Hello,” Jax said, “I see you have hard wood too?”

All three of the giggled and snorted.

“I think I found what we are looking for a couple of aisles over,” Jax said to Jetta.

“Have you seen rope?” Jenkins asked Jax.

Jax thought for a moment, a mischievous look on his face, “Two aisle over next to the blue balls.”

Jetta nudged Jax in the ribs and gave him “the look” again.

“What?” Jax started, “There is a bin of blue balls. You know for kids.”

“Thank you,” Jenkins replied shaking his head and laughing, “It was nice meeting you both. Maybe our paths will cross again.”

“Nice meeting you,” Jetta said.

Old Man Jenkins went one way and Jax and Jetta went another way.

Nail Clippers, Pages 5 & 6

Previously.

“No. No. Not even close,” Devin retorted, “Evil Residency 98.4 Ultimate Directors Cut Import is the best game.”

“Yeah, okay I have to agree the zombies looked awesome,” Chaz said voice cracking.

Rounding the corner into the kitchen, Jenkins heart skipped a beat. Bent over, head in the refrigerator Devin’s ass hung out of his assless leather chaps. Standing near him, Chaz also in assless chaps, his skin strangely shiny, stood holding a video game controller and a length of sausage. Devin stood up and turned around, Jenkins tried to hide the shock on his face when he saw the video game controller looking nipple clamps pinching Devin’s nipples a crimson color, and the longer length of sausage swaying in his hand. Devin handed Chaz a large jar of mayonnaise.

“Afternoon,” Chaz said, voice cracking causing Jenkins to wince, “We’re headed downstairs to game. Want to join? We have sausages,” waggling the sausage to emphasize the obvious.

“You should play with us. Although I am the best. No one better. One time..,” Devin began his voice steadily hitting tent revival preacher in volume and intensity.

“No thank you,” Jenkins said ending the conversation with tone and look.

Not wanting to watch their pale asses go downstairs, Jenkins turned away. When he thought it was safe to look Jenkins surveyed the damage; only the plate that formerly held the sausages on the counter, at least they did not leave a mess. Picking up the plate, Jenkins almost dropped it when a slippery substance caused the plate to slide in his grip. What the hell were they doing downstairs; sausages, lube, assless chaps, and video games…maybe he needed to address that issue before his other plans? He looked down to his feet when his black cat rubbed against the back of his legs, seemed his cat agreed.

****

Ding Dong.

Jax got off the porch and headed for the front door.

Ding Dong.

Ding Dong.

Ding Dong.

Ding Dong.

Yanking the front door open, Jax thought he might have broken the doorknob.

“What!”

“Good afternoon…” the woman wearing her Sunday best started to say, her eyes going wide, looking down, and making the sign of the cross.

A cool breeze made Jax reminded him that he was naked.

Recovering as best she could, “My name is Patience. Do you have a few moments to talk?”

Jax crossed his arms and leaned against the doorframe putting his best “go on” look on his face. When Patience did not start talking, he gave her a “go on” motion. Patience straightened up and looked him in the eyes.

“I can come back when you are dressed,” she said.

“No, I’m alright. Enjoying the breeze,” Jax casually replied.

“Good lord,” Patience blurted out.

Jax expected her to turn around and leave; to her credit, she stood her ground.

“Who is at the door?” Jetta shouted.

“Some lady trying to sell me something,” Jax shouted back.

“Does she have any samples?”

“Do you have any samples?” Jax asked Patience.

Patience stammered, blushing she began to rummage through her large bag.

“She’s looking,” Jax shouted to Jetta.

“I can see that,” Jetta said peeking over Jax’s shoulders.

At the sound of Jetta’s voice, Patience looked up. Wearing only the hat and a bemused expression, Jetta stood slightly behind Jax. Jax put an arm around Jetta and pulled her forward.

“Good lord,” Patience blurted out again, her face crimson.

“Would you like to come in out of the heat?” Jetta asked.

“Yeah, you should come inside and you can show us your wares,” Jax said with emphasis on wares.

Patience dropped her bag, stammered something while trying to pick up her bag, and walk backwards at the same time. By the time Patience picked up her bag, Jax and Jetta were laughing hard enough that they had to hold each other up.

“When you find those samples come back and maybe we can trade samples,” Jetta shouted to a retreating Patience. “Come on,” handing Jax the nail clippers, “It’s my turn again,” she said with a wink dropping the towel and heading inside.