Dear Mother Nature,
I do not know what I am sorry for as I have no clue what I may have done to earn your ire, but your ire is plain to see.
I know that I should not trust the heretics who claim to predict what you all mighty Mother Nature can and will do over the next seven days. I allowed their honeyed words to poison my eyes and other senses. I believed their silvered words of warmer, spring, and sunshine when only you oh benevolent one Mother Nature can make these words true.
That allowed their lies to bedevil me, to trick me, to deceive me has caused me and mine great inconvenience. Had I only listened to my senses I would not have crossed Mother Nature. Low, in her wisdom she has sought to correct each of my transgressions.
With the assistance of my daughter we established a windmill, light-up flower shrine to Spring before Mother Nature was ready to announce Spring, she punished us with snow
Seeking to better our cooking options we unwisely purchased a new grill, Mother Nature punished us with three days of rain and snow
Thinking Mother Nature’s wrath had passed, we built the grill, two more days of rain
Surely, Mother Nature has passed enough judgment upon us; unfortunately, hearing the sly words of the weather heretics speaking in her name, we purchased three “perfect” pieces of steak to grill; five days of rain and cold weather
Understanding I have displeased Mother Nature, I await better days, unfortunately my time with the weather heretics was not over and I listened to their toxic words, convincing me that warmer days were arriving soon I had the furnace turned off, we have been cursed with cold weather since…the glares and accusations from family hurt more than any hailing would
Attempting to please Mother Nature with our devotion to her cause we purchased a bird feeder, the cold weather remains, birds eat all of the food, and crash into the windows from time to time
I have no idea how much longer Mother Nature will remain angry with me for my transgressions; I have turned away from the untrustworthy weather heretics pretending to preach what glorious Mother Nature will do over the next seven days and have returned to the old ways of looking out my window and stepping outside. Until she removes her ire from me I await, patiently, better days
With sincerest apologies, your devoted weather watching patient believer who is very sorry for crossing your path by listening to the weather heretics and establishing signs of Spring before you were ready to announce Spring yourself hopefully you find this apology sufficient, if not send me a sign of what penance I need to perform to enjoy your magnanimous beauty and bounty.