Alex’s Strawberry Scented Tank

“Tell him that we fucking reprogrammed reality. Tell him that language is a virus and that religion is an operating system and that prayers are just so much fucking spam.”

-Neil Gaiman, American Gods

Dear WordPress people,


I would love to tell all of you that since my first post of the year I have gotten 15 new followers taking me well over the 500 mark. I cannot because all of them along with at least 150 others are from fake accounts. I know this. You know this. Why WordPress cannot do something about it, I have no clue.

Personally I enjoy (sarcasm) seeing blahblah@outlookdotfuckoff is now following you multiple times in a row within minutes of each other and once the initial flood dies down one or two more variations on blahblah@outlookorwhateverfuckingservicedotfuckoff (trade AND copy right ME) each day after. What I enjoy even more is the following wave of spam. Not the salty gelatenous treat and favorite food of Hawaii but the bland, boring, generic, horribly spelled and grammared “comments” that have no relevance to whatever post. This week all of them from Alex at blahblah@whateverfuckingservicedotfuckoff.

Thank you Alex, for commenting that you love my intimate knowledge of…well you never finished the sentence, but since the bot you are commented on Puddles and Whiskers I can only imagine my intimate knowledge of fictional cats with weaponry who solve…well nothing yet, but they are working on the case.

Thank you Alex, for commenting on how fast my blog loads. What the fuck! Seriously send me spam about having a bigger penis, something no one wants to see, as I am a big enough of a dick for three people. Or some hair treatment, shoes, purses, or whatever else the fucking bot you are thinks works as a non-functioning sentence.


I never liked you or your spam.

Now for those of you who might be thinking, “he should do something.” I have, when this first happened years ago when I was writing about SEX before the big SEX purge (another boner of mine to pick with WordPress) I contacted the powers that be of WordPress about fake accounts following me…their response, shoulder shrug and enjoy the stats. If I was concerned about stats I would post better shit. I am not, thus that did not fly with me.

And neither does strawberry scented wax on a Warhammer 40k tank in desperate need of a repaint BEFORE the wax. Ugh! Another thing I do, when not railing against Alex, is build and paint Warhammer miniatures. As a hobby it relaxes me and give my brain room to think about other things, such as fucking Alex-not fucking Alex, but Alex you fucker-as a skill building and painting has taught me almost as much as roleplaying.

An awesome thing is building and painting is a family activity. Generally when one person is at the construction table someone else joins. We share building tips and offer advice for painting. Much better than everyone doing their own thing. A while ago our girl wanted a second tank, only this time she wanted to paint it. Being an overly indulgent parent I let her. For a 7-year old, not bad. For me…let me say, I smiled a lot and silently made plans to repaint her tank when she lost interest.

She lost interest. The tank moved to my repaint shelf. Today the tank is one step closer to the garbage can. At some point between painted tank and repaint shelf strawberry scented wax dripped all over the tank. At first I thought it was too much clear coat. It quickly became obvious it was not.

The big issue is not the wax. I can get the wax off. The scented oils are the issue. Oils and the paints we use do not mix. The oil has permeated the paint and I do not have a way to get paint off of the model without damaging the model. So for now, we have a strawberry scented tank.

Alex, fuck off.

“What are Americans still buying? Big Macs,Campbell’s soup,Hershey’s chocolate and Spam–the four food groups of the apocalypse.”

-Frank Rich




Christmas Day Spam To The Rescue

Merry Christmas. By now, our children have opened their gifts and realized the search for hidden presents was another distraction technique of mine. Meanwhile, I am…oh who am I kidding, I am probably playing Diablo III or working on Chinese food. Continue enjoying your holiday and this second dose of spam. 🙂


I never did finish that subsequent post…

You really make it appear really easy together with your presentation however I to find this topic to be actually one thing that I think I’d never understand. It sort of feels too complicated and extremely broad for me. I’m taking a look forward for your subsequent post, I will try to get the hold of it!

Let’s be honest, I was bullshitting the entire first post that you thought you’d never understand.


Decent reviews are good, right?

To Improve Vision Using All Safe And Natural Means.It’s Quite Informative And It’s Got Some Decent Reviews.

Is there a non-safe and mechanical means that is getting better reviews?


Is this the future of bio-technology?

installing first-rate squirrel away plugin

I so want a squirrel away plugin


I never lie about lying.

Hats off on your willpower and honesty.

My will power is firm as something firm and most likely obscene. 🙂


All of you?

Do hold all of us advised in future too.

Also the future, that sounds like so much work too.


How can I find out more?



I wonder if they know the meaning of the word.

This shows burglars that a person currently home, that may make them quite likely going to robbing your property. Anyone with your household will likely be able to operate the protection system easily.

Likely to be robbed and likely I can operate the protection system…I hope this was not an advertisement for a security service.


Pronouns matter. If you learn nothing else, learn that!

Some men are susceptible to red bumps on his or her face after shaving, and the genitals aren’t any different, razor burn that occurs down there is likely to manifest being an acne breakout.

Genital acne…you are welcome for that holiday thought.


Finally, allow me to be helpful…

Very good blog! Do you have any tips and hints for aspiring writers?
I’m hoping to start my own website soon but I’m a little lost on everything.
Would you propose starting with a free platform like WordPress or go for a paid option? There are so many options out there that I’m completely confused .. Any recommendations?
Many thanks!

Love to write. Learn to write, then you can break or ignore the rules. Write about what you love. Never pay for anything that you can get for free…wait…if there is a free version, in this case WordPress, try it first and save your wallet the hassle of opening. Recommendations, WordPress because it is free and customizable…unless writing about sex.


Hope all of you had a great holiday.

Holiday Eve Spam To The Rescue

I was going to write a long post about the holidays. I didn’t do that. Instead, I gift you with two days of Spam. Spam is the gift that keeps on giving; trust me. I will be spending today and tomorrow with the family. Regular writing will return on the 26th. Enjoy the break and the time with friends and family.


Hey, nice to meet you…

What’s սp everyone, it’s my first go to see at this web page, and paragraph is really fruitful in favor of me, keep up posting these types of articles or reviews.

Fruitful in favor of you? That is going to haunt me thoughts for a while now.


Does Dr. Who have one of these?

I was just looking at your Time Dilation Collared Cupcake Presentation

Time Dilation Cupcake Presentation I get, but collared as well?


I aim to inform.

Thank you for the information, it´s just i´m looking! Great

I will have to take your word that you are looking! Great.


Honesty matters.

I’m not that much of a internet reader to be honest but your blogs really nice, keep it up!

I will do my best…not that this counts, but you know what I mean.


You saw that?

Hi, i think that i saw you visited my website thus i came to “return the favor”.I am trying to find things to improve my site!I suppose its ok to use a few of your ideas!!

Wait! You are only visiting to “return the favor” and to steal my ideas?


I don’t recall visiting your porn site, but who knows…

Wow, this paragraph is good, my younger sister is analyzing such things, so I am going to convey her.

Oh, the irony of spam posted to Return of Spam to the Rescue


Just think Johnny Wishbone and I will be there.

Its like you read my mind! You appear to know a lot about this, like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you could do with a few pics to drive the message home a little bit, but instead of that, this is magnificent blog. An excellent read. I’ll certainly be back.

That being said, I look forward to the return of your spam.


It is a fact…

…this web page conations in fact good funny information too

…there is good funny stuff here.


Lastly, spam in another language is always fun. Thank you Google translate

El primero es que para ver lo que le pasa lo tienes que enviar a una direccion fuera de tu ciudad, llamar

The first is that to see what happens you have to send to an address outside of your city , call


Servicio Técnico Indesit Madrid, pionero en reparaciones de electrodomésticos Indesit en Madrid , con mas 24 años reparando todo tipo de electrodomésticos Indesit, ponemos a su disposición a nuestro personal técnico para resolverle cualquier tipo de incidencia que pueda presentar el aparato, el mismo de la su aviso, sin recargo a Indesit uno en el precio

Technical Service Indesit Madrid, pioneered Indesit appliance repairs in Madrid, with over 24 years repairing all appliances Indesit , we offer our technical staff to solve any type of incident that may present the device , it’s his notice, without charge to Indesit one price


Enjoy your holiday.

Who Wrote This Spam To the Rescue

Sometimes spam sounds really good. No, not the food, although I understand that people in Hawaii have turned Spam into an artform. Sometimes when I read spam, I find myself thinking, “This sounds legit. Now who wrote this?” and that is where the wheels fall off the bus. Witness…


I am glad to help people learn something in challenging ways-its challenging because I mangle the language. 🙂

Nice post. I leаrn sߋmething new and challenging on blogs I stumƅleupon everyday.
It’s always exciting to read through content from other writers and use something from ߋthеr

But wait, who wrote this…99pornxxx…oh


I must be doing something right, because someone is looking to help…

Plеase let me know if you’re looking for a writer for your weЬlog.
You have some really great posts and I feel I would be a good asset.

If you ever want to take some of the load off, I’d аbsolutely love tօ ԝrite some articles
for your blog in exchange for a link back to mіne. Please blast
me an e-mail if intereѕted. Thankѕ!

But wait, who wrote this…99pornxxx…what the hell? I thought porn paid well.


I am glad that someone recognizes my sound arguments. Thank you.

Incrediƅle points. Sound arguments. Keep up the gooɗ work.”

But wait, oh xx2porn you had me at “Incredible.


I love getting advice about my blogging.

Its very well written; I love what youve got to say. But maybe you could a little more in the way of
content ѕo peߋple could connect with it better.

What more content can I add xxx69porn? I have erotica, food, games, human sexuality, and life. I think I have the bases covered.


Being able to help someone with their study and knowledge, puts a warm fuzzy feeling in my chest.

Wоw! Afteг all I got a blog from where I can really take helpful information concеrning my study and ҝnowledge.

Wait, what exactly is your study and knowledge, xxx99porn or do I even need to ask?


I would love to elaborate.

Wonderful ƿost however ӏ was աanting to know if you could write a litte mοre on this topic? I’d bе very gratefսl if you could elaborate a little Ьit more. Appгeciate it!

xxx2porn, a geoglyph is a carving in land and an alpaca is a fuzzy creature that looks to be a combination of a giraffe, sheep, and curious looking horse. Together they form the clues to an Animal Crossing question. Probably more than you wanted to know.


Repeat visits is what I aim for.

I’ll definitely return.

xxx69club, I have a feeling you will be around for a long time…


I guess even porn likes spam. Who knew?

Alpaca (s) (‘s) Love Spam Too

AlpacaI enjoy spam, I especially enjoy spam when the spam gets through the filter and onto a post as a comment. I have all comments moderated on all of my blogs, thus you never see the spam, but I do. Often I am left wondering, “What the hell does this have to do with…oh it’s spam.”

This was one of those moments. The post, as you will see if you take the link, is not about computers or laptops, but about fuzzy alpacas, and…I don’t want to ruin the surprise.  The spam, however…

But with this occasion I believe a netbook is really a netbook and laptop is often a laptop.

What occasion? I feel that I missed out on an appetizer of spam before this offering. Are netbooks and laptops cause for belief? Is a laptop a laptop by any other name?

With college loans, grants and financing becoming simpler to receive, and much more plentiful, this adds on the total dollars of non-discretionary funding for individuals.

I think this is an appeal to get extra money to spend as you see fit and not spend on college related materials. Loans do seem more viable than blood and semen donation for beer.  Then again, when I get out of college I will still have blood and semen to donate whereas with the loans I have a bill for more money than the loan…maybe I should cancel the loans and get busy.

Best place to buy laptops for college These tips are although best five performance enhancing techniques yet it is possible to go for a lot of more appropriate tips and practices when the PC continues running slow and performing low.

What is the best place? Five performance enhancing techniques? Where are they? What are they?  Stupid spam!

That depends upon what you may need and the type of external laptop charger that you find.

The external charger is related to my needs, college loans, if a laptop is a laptop, and enhancing performance? Who knew?

I polled my girlfriends and family for his or her top laptop backpacks and the Oakley Computer Bag 2.

To the spammer, did you mean girlfriends, as in more than one girlfriend in which case you may be in trouble should this post be seen by any one of them or did you mean girlfriend’s, as in singular? Just asking. Totally glossing over why you would poll her…wait that relates to the performance enhancing techniques and needing extra money doesn’t it? Clever spam, this wasn’t about netbooks or laptops, but about how to get and keep your girlfriend (s) (‘s) with extra money, performance enhancing techniques, and poll or two. 🙂

Spam Loves Me! Spam Really Loves Me

I should be writing two posts, one about Suburbia and another about Warhammer Quest Adventure Card Game, but I got a few hours of sleep (4 to be exact) and don’t feel up to writing something detail oriented. Besides, you want to read this rather delicious bit of spam that was sent to me.

you there Nathan

Yes this was the title of the email.  Nothing says, “Read ME!” like “you there” and your name. That is a level of personal touch you don’t get often with spam.

If you want a work from home job Nathan which you can do from your computer and is secure yet gives you a great income, I merely the sort of offer to show you today.

Where do I begin? I do want a work from home job, but I am not sure if my computer is that secure and at the moment my computer does not give me any income, but I do appreciate that you (who you, you have not introduced yourself yet) are merely sort of offer to show me this wonderful opportunity to work from home job.

Even Though you therefore are after another source of income, and have employment, then you definitely must look at what I am offering you here today.

I agree, I definitely must look at what you offering here, but a point of order, what have you offered yet? Bad sentence structure aside

I really believe that you do not have to work hard on a regular basis simply to earn huge amounts of money.

Now that is a sales pitch to someone like me, do not have to work hard on a regular basis simply to earn huge amounts of money.  Since huge is a relative term, how much is huge?

This is some thing which can be performed by most people regardless of situation or ability, as for those who own a computer and internet connection, then you can perform this.

Anyone can do this job? Regardless of situation or ability? The dead could do this?  Oh, must have a computer and interweb connection, well that does seem very specific for qualifications and I have to be honest, our interwebs is not the best that it could be, but not because of anything I have done, thus outside of my control.  Does that work in my favor?

With the jobs that are offered on the website, you would not need to depart from your home to do them. They’re employments which you do from the comfort of your own house, and you work whatever hours suit you.

Comfort of home?  Whatever hours suit me? And I can do this regardless of situation or ability?  Holy shitsnacks I am really getting a potential lifelong career chubby.

You just need to go online every day Nathan, may it be a few hours or several hours, the selection is yours, as the more you work this, the more income you’ll be able to make each day.

Well I do get online, I like to look at the pretty pictures.  What is the quantitative difference between a few and several?  That I would need to know in advance, as I do not want any interference with my picture viewing time.

Be sure to find out more about this at (information redacted for the protection of the gullible) and what’s on the page for you to have the ability to work at home on your personal computer today.


Wasn’t that delicious?  I know I am wiping my lips clean.

It’s Leftover Spam To the Rescue

Our favorite holiday is over. The tree is going up. If we can find the lights it will be a Christmas tree. If we cannot find the lights, it will be a Halloween Christmas tree as I can find those lights. Two more weeks of classes and three finals and back to break time. I love break time almost as much as I love taking a nap.

Enjoy your heaping helping of leftover spam. Yes, there is such a thing as leftover spam. Silly goose, don’t eat it all in one sitting. 🙂


Even more Mad Lib or Choose Your Own Adventure spam,

Ahaa, its {nice|pleasant|good|fastidious} {discussion|conversation|dialogue} {regarding|concerning|about|on the topic of} this {article|post|piece of writing|paragraph} {here|at this place} at this {blog|weblog|webpage|website|web site}, I have read all that, so {now|at this time} me also commenting {here|at this place}.| I am sure this {article|post|piece of writing|paragraph} has touched all the internet {users|people|viewers|visitors}, its really really {nice|pleasant|good|fastidious} {article|post|piece of writing|paragraph} on building up new {blog|weblog|webpage|website|web site}.|

This is truly awesome, make your own spam.


Relationship advice spam,

Tip#2: Be His Friend It is good that you simply try and tell your lover that despite the relationship failing to work, does not indicate that both individuals cannot be friends.

Makes you wonder what other tips spam has.


What wrong with sympathy spam,

Jesus Christ there is a lot of spammy feedback on this web site. Have you actually believed about trying to get rid of them or installing a plugin?

There is a plugin to get rid of spam?




I don’t get it, but I like it.


Why thank you spam,

Interesting post )

I try.


Now this is important spam,

“As you all know by now Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have sadly been in the news for their ‘engagement,’” read the petition, per Fuse. “Kim Kardashian and her disgusting family are known for their rise to fame for doing absolutely nothing… Now we must do all in our power to stop Beyonce from attending that god forsaken [sic] wedding, since her husband Jay Z is BFFs with Kanye he problaby [sic] wants both of them to go…”

Am I the only one who has not seen the video and doens’t have a clue who any of these people are…well Beyonce is good music.



I was suggested this web site by my cousin. I am not sure whether this post is written by him as nobody else know such detailed about my problem. You are amazing! Thanks!

I try to be amazing. You should definitely soak that “problem” for a few hours a day until the swelling goes down and wear loose clothing to allow your “problem” to breathe.


Thank you spam I try to be informative on sectors experts ignore.

fantastic post, very informative. I ponder why the other experts of this sector don’t realize this. You should proceed your writing. I am confident, you have a great readers’ base already!

On this I can say for sure, I do have great readers.


Until next the next time I am in the mood for spam. 🙂