“Tell him that we fucking reprogrammed reality. Tell him that language is a virus and that religion is an operating system and that prayers are just so much fucking spam.”
-Neil Gaiman, American Gods
Dear WordPress people,
GET YOUR SHIT IN GEAR!
I would love to tell all of you that since my first post of the year I have gotten 15 new followers taking me well over the 500 mark. I cannot because all of them along with at least 150 others are from fake accounts. I know this. You know this. Why WordPress cannot do something about it, I have no clue.
Personally I enjoy (sarcasm) seeing blahblah@outlookdotfuckoff is now following you multiple times in a row within minutes of each other and once the initial flood dies down one or two more variations on blahblah@outlookorwhateverfuckingservicedotfuckoff (trade AND copy right ME) each day after. What I enjoy even more is the following wave of spam. Not the salty gelatenous treat and favorite food of Hawaii but the bland, boring, generic, horribly spelled and grammared “comments” that have no relevance to whatever post. This week all of them from Alex at blahblah@whateverfuckingservicedotfuckoff.
Thank you Alex, for commenting that you love my intimate knowledge of…well you never finished the sentence, but since the bot you are commented on Puddles and Whiskers I can only imagine my intimate knowledge of fictional cats with weaponry who solve…well nothing yet, but they are working on the case.
Thank you Alex, for commenting on how fast my blog loads. What the fuck! Seriously send me spam about having a bigger penis, something no one wants to see, as I am a big enough of a dick for three people. Or some hair treatment, shoes, purses, or whatever else the fucking bot you are thinks works as a non-functioning sentence.
Alex, FUCK OFF.
I never liked you or your spam.
Now for those of you who might be thinking, “he should do something.” I have, when this first happened years ago when I was writing about SEX before the big SEX purge (another boner of mine to pick with WordPress) I contacted the powers that be of WordPress about fake accounts following me…their response, shoulder shrug and enjoy the stats. If I was concerned about stats I would post better shit. I am not, thus that did not fly with me.
And neither does strawberry scented wax on a Warhammer 40k tank in desperate need of a repaint BEFORE the wax. Ugh! Another thing I do, when not railing against Alex, is build and paint Warhammer miniatures. As a hobby it relaxes me and give my brain room to think about other things, such as fucking Alex-not fucking Alex, but Alex you fucker-as a skill building and painting has taught me almost as much as roleplaying.
An awesome thing is building and painting is a family activity. Generally when one person is at the construction table someone else joins. We share building tips and offer advice for painting. Much better than everyone doing their own thing. A while ago our girl wanted a second tank, only this time she wanted to paint it. Being an overly indulgent parent I let her. For a 7-year old, not bad. For me…let me say, I smiled a lot and silently made plans to repaint her tank when she lost interest.
She lost interest. The tank moved to my repaint shelf. Today the tank is one step closer to the garbage can. At some point between painted tank and repaint shelf strawberry scented wax dripped all over the tank. At first I thought it was too much clear coat. It quickly became obvious it was not.
The big issue is not the wax. I can get the wax off. The scented oils are the issue. Oils and the paints we use do not mix. The oil has permeated the paint and I do not have a way to get paint off of the model without damaging the model. So for now, we have a strawberry scented tank.
Alex, fuck off.
“What are Americans still buying? Big Macs,Campbell’s soup,Hershey’s chocolate and Spam–the four food groups of the apocalypse.”